Angela Gargano (00:01)
Hey there and welcome back to What If It All Goes Right? The podcast where we dare to imagine the best possible outcomes even when life feels like it's throwing us every curveball imaginable. I'm your host Angela Gargano and today's episode is coming to you live from the middle of an shit moment. Yep, I'm literally right there in this with you. So this week I was working on something really hard and it totally flopped and
If I'm being honest, I feel like I'm failing big time. And you might know the feeling, right? When it seems like everything you've been working towards is just crumbling right in front of you. That's exactly why I'm here right now. But I stopped. I sat myself down and I reflected on all the other times in my life when I felt exactly like this. The moments where I face planted literally so hard in front of people and other places. And I wasn't sure if I would ever get back up. And you know what I realized?
I always get back up every single time. And not only that, I always come back 10 times stronger. So in today's episode, I want to take you on a little journey back through some of those moments. And I'll share how the last time I fell down really hard, I started journaling to myself and asking, what if it all goes right? Because here's the truth. Our brains are wired to fixate on the worst case scenarios. But what if we dare to ask a different question?
I also am going to share my right framework. Yes, the very framework that I use in my keynote speeches to help you navigate those hallway moments. You know when one door closes, but the next one hasn't opened yet and you're just stuck in the darkness in between. Unsure if you'll ever be able to see the light again. That's exactly where I am right now. But I know from my experience that trust in the process is where the magic happens. So let's dive in.
So I want to first talk about the hallway moments. I want to tell you where I heard this quote. I was in the middle of one of my hallways, not an actual hallway, but one of my moments where I wasn't really sure what was next in life and what I really wanted to do. And I had a conversation with a woman, and we were talking about how I was using my technique, writing all about what if it all goes right.
And she's the one who actually told me this quote. Now I'm not exactly sure where this quote came from. So if for some reason, you know where this quote came from, please let me know. When I looked it up, all I saw was anonymous. So I couldn't find who actually came up with it. But the quote said, when one door closes, another one opens, but no one talks about the hallway in between. So what I want to do right now is talk about that hallway.
the space between one door closing and another one opening, I say it all the time in my keynotes, but no one really talks about how freaking hard that hallway can be. Right now I feel like I'm in the darkest part. I can't see the light up ahead of me and it feels like every step I take is just making things harder. But here's the thing I've learned the hallway isn't just the darkness. It's where we grow.
And growth is so uncomfortable. It's messy. It's uncertain and sometimes downright painful, but it's also where we become stronger. It's where we become more resilient and more aligned with our purpose. And if you're in that hallway right now too, I want you to know that you are not alone. It's okay to feel frustrated, scared, or even unsure. But what if instead of focusing on what's going wrong, we dare to look at what
if it all could go right? What if it's already going right?
So like I said, the last time I started to feel this way, I started journaling. And every time my mind was going through these worst case scenarios, I'd force myself to write out the opposite. What if it all goes right?
What does even going right look like? Do I even know? Do I even have an understanding of that? What if this failure is actually clearing the way for something better? What if the lesson I'm learning right now is exactly what I need to get to the next step in my journey? And what if the struggle I'm feeling is the precursor to a breakthrough?
And I'm not saying it's easy to shift your mindset like this. And believe me, it's literally totally not. But when you start focusing on the possibilities, instead of the problems, something shifts and you start to see opportunities where you didn't see them before. It's kind of like I talked about in one of my other podcasts, I believe about how it's really hard to make the best decisions for yourself when you're in a disempowered state, when you're not.
feeling your best, it's actually better to make decisions for yourself and your life when you're in an empowered place because you can see this other version of yourself and not the version of yourself that's stuck in this, this moment that you're having and moments are totally, totally normal. So I want to talk about a few different times where I personally was stuck in this hallway and how I got there. And maybe you relate to some of this. Maybe you don't, maybe you can think about
time right now or you are right now in that hallway but my first hallway that I was in between I mean there was multiple but we'll just go right back to American Ninja Warrior I mean I literally trained my butt off got rejected for two seasons to getting on American Ninja Warrior finally got on American Ninja Warrior and then when I did I tore my ACL in front of everybody
And at the time I was, I think I was seeing somebody then my ex-boyfriend was also in the audience, like somewhere. So it was extra embarrassing because even after this situation, the person I was with like, stop seeing me. I don't know if it was because of the leg, but it just seemed like everything was pretty much falling apart all at once. And I felt super alone. I felt super scared. I mean, I cried my eyes out and...
I remember calling one of my close friends, Jess, and telling her about it. And she is definitely most older and I feel like has gone through so much in her journey that she clearly looked at what I was going through as a growth opportunity. But myself, I was not looking at it as a growth opportunity. I was pissed. I was upset. I was mad at everybody. I was mad at myself. And it really trickled into all other areas of my life.
And again, I want to share this story just so you can see that, you know, we've all been through these like really like, shit moments is what I like to call it. And there's definitely a way to overcome it and switch the mindset. It might take some time. And that's why we're going to go through the framework that I was able to go through from this ACL tear that helps me get out of this place of disempowerment, get me out of this place of feeling like shit, this place of being stuck.
in that dark hallway and really freaking out like really hard. I'm also, I'm also side note, I'm scared of the dark. I'm scared of the dark. So when you're in the hallway, I'm like, I'm like, where's my nightlight? Help me somebody. Right in fact about Ange, she needs a nightlight. Another time that this happened was pretty much almost directly after I realized that I wasn't in a good place financially with my gym that I owned.
And this is now I had my ACL tear now I'm like, my goodness, I'm not in a good financial place. And I realized that I wasn't going to be able to keep the gym that I had after all the hard work I put into it, all those late nights, everything. And same thing there just felt like, damn.
I'm Worst case scenario is on my head. Everybody, I'm going to disappoint everybody that came to this gym because I'm going to shut it down and I'm not going to able to stay here anymore. So just lots of different areas. And you might be thinking right now, and I look for you to think right now of some scenarios that you might have been in before, but I also want you to look at any down points you've had in your life and switch your mindset on it and look at it in a more empowering place now because
If you got past something tough, something really hard, you will be able to get through something hard again. Okay. And that's why I really wanted to create some kind of framework to really help snap you out of it. My hope is that it snaps you out a little bit faster so you're not stuck there forever, but you know, everybody's journey and everybody's time with this stuff is very different depending on where you've been at. So.
Let's review some of the right framework. So whenever I feel like I'm stuck in this hallway now, which I'm stuck in the hallway right now with you, I go back to this right framework and it's the exact process. Like I said, I use to navigate hard times and get back on track and I'm going to break it down together with you. So, right. So next time you feel like things are going wrong, I want you to think in your head, right, right, right, right, right, right. So R, I want you to recognize what you are feeling.
Now I think we overlook this step all the time. We get so mad at ourselves maybe from because we're maybe strong women and we're thinking I can't possibly feel frustrated. How could I feel frustrated? I have to be strong, but it's okay to feel because we are human. So you need to feel it. Don't push away from it or pretend it's not happening.
Right now, I'm personally feeling very disappointed in myself, frustrated, I'm scared, but instead of letting those emotions consume me, I'm recognizing them. I'm letting myself sit with them and process them. And that's the first step in the journey. You have to process them. have to realize that you are human. you might look at somebody right now that you're looking up to and think they've never gone through something or never had to process their emotions and feelings. They absolutely have.
Okay. Maybe you haven't seen it. Maybe on social media, things look perfect, but you, you do have to realize that you need to feel. And the more you push away, and this is what I've recognized, the more you push away from these feelings, I feel like this is the longer you get stuck in it. If you don't want yourself feel it, a lot of times you get stuck in it a lot longer. So I want you to ask yourself when you are in this place and again, it could be right now. It might be coming up later on.
What am I feeling right now and why am I feeling this way?
So for me right now, we'll go through a little session right now. I'm feeling disappointed. I'm feeling frustrated. I'm feeling just like, and I'm feeling this way because I worked so hard and I always work so hard and I always put so much effort into everything that I do, so much care and attention and
for it to not go as planned. mean, ugh. It just feels like I wasted my time. So that's why I feel that way. This is what's why I'm feeling this way from my situation this week. It feels like a waste of time.
And a lot of times you have these feelings and again, these feelings are valid. So I want you to validate your feelings right now and say, it's okay that I feel this way. I also had a woman today. This doesn't have to do with my story, but I woman today, cause I teach pull-ups online to women, right? And that's a very humbling experience. And in my program, we have a lot of women who do get the, their pull-up in less than six Or less than 12 weeks or in a week or in 14 days, but everyone's journey is very, very different.
Right? Sorry, that's my dog. might hear her toy squeaking right now in the background. Everyone's journey is very, very different. And I had a woman who wrote this whole thing. She was like, I am frustrated. I'm 10 weeks in. I feel like I haven't gotten nowhere with it. And you can see, feel the frustration like through the screen. So I sent her a message and the first thing I did on the message was validate her feelings and let her know it is okay that you're feeling frustrated. Okay. It's okay.
but don't get stuck there. And that's it. We're going to start to get unstuck here as we go through this right method. You have to get unstuck. can feel that way. It's OK. Be frustrated. Be, ugh, about it. But we cannot get stuck there. I said this on another podcast, I believe, before too. But it's like having that short-term memory with it. Like, I want you to feel it, feel it, feel it. But then, OK, cool. We got to move on. Right? On to what we can do to learn from it and get better. So.
Feel whatever you're feeling, but do not get stuck there. Number two, you're gonna identify the shift that you need. So once you feel your emotions, it's time to shift. For me, the shifts from, it comes from asking that what if it all goes right? Instead of dwelling on the failure, I look for the lesson. So ask yourself, what is one small thing you can shift today to get out and to be unstuck?
And how can I reframe the situation to see it as an opportunity?
Angela Gargano (13:00)
So for me, let's think, one small thing I can shift today is definitely sitting down and writing out what I learned from the situation and how I can do things differently. Or what I learned, I think what I really learned is what I don't want to do. And that's OK, too. It's a lesson, right? I really learned that I don't want to do.
All this stuff that I put, I'm not gonna fully say exactly what it was, but it's definitely a piece of business that I don't want to do that type of business anymore. I'm shifting, I'm evolving. I've evolved so much from years and years ago what I was to what I am now. I think
something that I can shift is to be like, okay, I can refrain the situation and see it as an opportunity, at least I know now. And now that I know, I can move on and I can move forward from it so that I can get to this next phase. keep seeing 11, 11 everywhere. And...
I know it's like angel numbers. my goodness, Angela, angel numbers. But I keep seeing it I'm like, this has to mean that I'm somewhere. This is my dog, you hear this dog? This has to mean that the universe is telling me, listen, we're actually doing this for you. We don't want this to work out for you because this isn't actually where you belong. This isn't what you belong doing in your biz. So I'm gonna look at it as that. So again, think about how you can shift it for yourself.
And then it's time to generate a game plan. So it's time to take action, okay? So if you're feeling not confident right now and frustrated because of whatever situation that you're going through right now, what a coach had told me before is that confidence comes from action. Confidence comes from doing.
So it's so important that you do something. So what's one small step that you can take to move forward? For me, it might be, again, my journaling, maybe reaching out to my mentor or revisiting my goals to see where I can realign. Maybe it's sitting down and really looking at this game plan again and really trying to figure out what actually feels right for me, because now I know what's clearly not right for me and what I don't want, right? So now I can ask that. So what's one step you can take right now to feel
this one's important. Next up, I want you to hold on to your why. So when things get tough, it's easy to lose sight of why you started in the first place or who you are, right? But your why is your anchor.
It's what's keeping you moving forward when everything feels like it's falling apart. So why did you start this journey? Who are you doing this for? Let's come back to your why. Maybe your why has to do with your family. Maybe it's with your dog, okay? I know for me, my biggest why is I just want to help people. I want to help them see and feel empowered. There's just something that I've always had within me that that's what I've wanted to do.
I've always had this care of spreading my energy and making people feel enlightened and feel great. that's a huge reason why I started this journey. And for my business, I I just want to be able to live the most present life with the people I care about.
money aside from business. mean, that's personally
What is a value for me is that, is spending time with my dog, being present. That to me is wealth. why did I start this journey? Who am I doing this for? Really coming back to what your why is. And if you haven't identified your why yet, we can totally do a whole podcast episode on that. That's really deep. It's really important that you know your why. Okay? That's with everything, with business, with life.
You can always come back to your Y, you can always come back to your core values to really get that depth of who you are.
trust the process. So this is the hardest part. Trust that everything, even when you can't see the light, it's still there. So even when it's dark, even when you don't have a nightlight.
Right now, I keep seeing 11, 11 like I said everywhere and maybe it's just a sign, maybe it's a coincidence, but I'm choosing to believe that it's a reminder to trust that everything is working out for me, even if I can't see it yet. So ask yourself, how can I remind myself to trust the process even when it's hard? you're in an shit moment right now, here's what I want you to do. I want you to grab your journal.
I want you to write out what if it all goes right, and I want you to list every possibility, no matter how big or small. Go through the right framework. Recognize what you're feeling. Identify the shifts you need. Generate a game plan. Hold on to your why. And trust the process. And remind yourself that the hallway is where the growth happens. And it's OK to not have all the answers right now. You don't need to have them right now.
Thanks so much for joining me for this raw and real episode while I'm in the middle of
Remember even when it feels like everything's falling apart There's always a way forward and you're stronger than you think the hallway you're in right now is just a temporary stop on your journey
If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs to hear this message. And don't forget to tag me on social media. I'd love to hear about how you're shifting your perspective and asking yourself, what if it all goes right? Until next time, keep trusting, keep growing, keep asking yourself those powerful questions.
