Angela Gargano (00:00)
there and welcome back to What If It All Goes Right? The podcast where we break through the mental loops that keep us stuck and start taking action towards the life we truly want. In today's episode, it's a little bit different. This is gonna be raw, it's going to be vulnerable, and it's something I know a lot of you are going to resonate with because I'm literally in it right now. And you see, this morning I went for a walk, nothing crazy, just me, my thoughts, and my dog, but on the walk I had a realization.
and one that really hit me hard. And I've stopped doing something that used to be so important to me. I used to wake up every morning, do a quick meditation and a visualization of my perfect day. That kind of day that felt effortless, aligned with energy and purpose. But lately what I've realized is I haven't really been doing that. I've been avoiding it. And if I'm being really honest with you, it's because part of me started to feel like it wasn't actually working.
I mean, what's the point of visualizing the perfect day if every single day it feels like nothing is actually moving in that direction? wasn't booking the speaking gigs that I wanted. My business felt like a grind and like a hustle and nothing felt like it was flowing. And let me tell you when things feel like that hard, it really hits your ego. It hits your self-worth. It makes you question, am I even good enough for this? It felt like I was stuck in a loop of negativity and honestly, I didn't know how to get out of it.
until I stopped myself and I asked, what if it goes right? And I know it's the name of this podcast. I know this is the framework that I'm teaching and I live by, but in the moment I wasn't living it. I was drowning in the worst case scenario thinking. And when you're in that fight or flight state, your brain literally cannot see the positive outcome because it's wired for survival, not for creativity.
It's focused on protecting you, not expanding you. So even when I tried to imagine what right would even look like, I honestly couldn't. It was blurred by self-doubt. It was blocked by fear. And that's the problem. So today, I want to talk about how we push past the fog of the self-doubt to start thinking about what if it all goes right? And I want to share the exact steps I'm talking.
about to do that today because let's be real, I'm literally, still in it right now. We're in this together. And I know that getting stuck here is not an option. this is going to be a series. So we're gonna go through a different series of how to really get ourselves unstuck, to really follow this right framework. And I'm gonna give you action.
steps and I'm literally going to be doing this with you alongside the journey. So I'm really excited about that. make sure that you're following along on this series so that you can do each of these steps so that we can do this together. So the first step of all of this is recognizing and feeling without getting stuck. So the one thing I've learned, whether it's in fitness, business or life, is that the first step to getting unstuck is not just passing through it, right?
is actually stopping long enough to recognize what is actually happening, which is exactly the realization that I had the other day on my walk. Because here's what happens if you don't. The stress, that frustration, and that sense of failure, it's just going to build, and it's gonna start leaking into everything, everyone around you. So the first step here is to feel it. To feel it.
But like my mentor had told me multiple times when I was going through my ACL and coming back from that, she said, listen, I see that you tore your ACL. I see that you're feeling stuck and you're not feeling so great in it right now. But I don't want you to get stuck So for me, this means I'm going to give myself 24 hours. OK? I'm putting a time frame on it. We're not going to stay stuck there forever. So 24 hours to have a full pity party moment.
The 24 hours to say, know what? I'm gonna be so annoyed about this. I'm gonna be frustrated about it. I'm gonna feel whatever I need to feel. But after those 24 hours, like that's it. And I'm saying 24 hours here, but for you, maybe this is a challenge that you feel like maybe you could have a pity party for like an hour and then get right back to it, right? But really setting yourself the deadlines, this way you're not actually getting stuck in this mindset that you're at. But be like, hey, I recognize it. Okay, cool. I'm gonna feel those things. I'm a human that is totally okay to feel these things, but I'm not gonna get stuck.
Now, I know some of you might be thinking, Angela, what? Like, aren't you supposed to always be positive thinking? Aren't you supposed to just kind of be like, I got this? isn't resilience that you're just gonna power through it and be strong? Yes, but the thing is, if you try to push down your emotions, they're gonna find a way to surface no matter what. You really do need to feel your way through it. You need to move your way through it, right? And that's so, so important now. So.
I let myself go all in for that set amount of time to have my pity party, do the things. And gonna write down every single negative thought that I'm having. And I want you to do the same thing as well. I want you to release it and put it in an unbiased place. Now this could be what I'm doing, which is journaling and just writing it all out and just be like, okay, I these thoughts might be crazy. I don't care. I'm just gonna put them on paper. Or that might be...
reaching out to a friend, and I have a friend like this, Madisa, whom I'm obsessed with, and I literally could call her any time and like, I'm just upset about X, and Z. And she's always so great to just sit there and just listen. Maybe it is a therapist, like you just talked about, but allow yourself to just let yourself out, like not judge yourself for whatever feelings you're having about this challenge that is happening right now, so this way we can get unstuck and get out of this. If you need to cry, cry. If you need to eat some ice cream, eat some ice cream.
but really allowing yourself to feel the emotions fully because repressing them does not make them go away. Okay? And recognizing that even as a leader, even as a powerhouse, we are absolutely human and it is important to recognize these feelings. In fact, research in psychology shows that expressive writing, literally dumping your thoughts on a paper can actually reduce stress and anxiety by helping you process emotions more effectively. And why is that?
It's because it creates distance between you and the emotions. It allows you to see them objectively rather than be consumed by them, right? Because when they're stuck in our head, like they'll just keep ruminating and it will just keep getting deeper and deeper and deeper, right? So it allows you to see them objectively rather than be consumed by them. And once you get it all out, your brain can finally start to make room for solutions, right? Instead of just always identifying it as a problem. So if you're in that loop of negative thinking, I want you to try this today. I want you to write it all down.
No filter, no judgment, just dump it onto a piece of paper and give yourself that permission to actually feel it. Let yourself sit in it with a time limit so you're not stuck there forever then get your body moving. brings me on to step two, right? So we're journaling it all out. We're getting it all in the unbiased place, right? And now it's time to get back to now because a lot of times, and this is a Brianna West Coast,
By the way, she has an amazing book called The Mountain is You, which I'm obsessed with. Actually, she's gonna be in town. I'm gonna try and get a book setting with her. she says something really powerful, and it said, if you are depressed, you are most likely living in the past, and if you're anxious, you're living in the future, right? So it's really important to actually get back to this present moment so we can really get back to what we're doing right now, like where we're at right now. We're a feeder on the ground and everything.
Once I'm allowing myself to feel everything, the next step is going to be getting out of my head and back into my body because the truth is when we're stuck in the negative loops, it's because we're stuck in our thoughts and the thoughts, they're often not based on reality, especially if you're having these stories or thoughts about failure, right? Typically, those are stories from our subconscious mind that aren't actually again, right in that survival mode. So take yourself on a walk. And now I'm not just calling it a walk. I'm calling this the what if it all goes right walk.
And on this walk, I'm going to do something that might sound super weird, but I promise it totally works. So I, to get back to the present moments, I start to name things out loud as I see them. So for example, if I see a tree, I literally look at the tree and I will say out loud tree. If I see a bird, I will literally look at the bird and be like, bird. If I see water, I will actually say water. And why? Like this sounds super silly. It's like, well, obviously, Angela, if you're looking at a tree, you're looking at a tree, but
This is a technique that really helps you and it's called grounding. It's actually scientifically proven to calm your nervous system and pull you out of anxious thinking. So therapists often use sensory grounding exercises to help clients reduce anxiety. So by focusing on what you can see, what you can hear, and what you can feel right now, so really getting into those senses, your brain shifts out of the fight or flight mode and gets back into the present. So sometimes you just need to say it out loud, because you might be, you ever have those moments where like you're staring at something, but like you don't.
You're not actually there, like you're somewhere else, right? So looking at the tree and actually saying tree will help you get back in the present moment. And once I do this, the fog literally starts to lift. It doesn't fix everything immediately, obviously, but it creates that space for me to start thinking differently, to really start getting my brain in a different place. number three, shift the focus to what you And that's where I'm at today. I've let myself feel.
I've walked myself back to the present moment and now it's time to shift the focus because the truth is my reality, it wasn't going right. The reality that I'm in right now isn't, it's not going, like what if it all goes right? It doesn't feel, it's like not going right, but neither is my thinking. So whatever my thinking was telling me is where the perspective of everything that was happening going, right? Only focusing on what's not working, only looking at what's going wrong. But guess what?
That's all you see when you start to think of that is everything that's going on. What about the things that are actually going right in front of you? What you focus on, you become. so now asking myself, what if it goes right?
If that next call lands me my biggest speaking opportunity yet, what if my business starts feeling fun again? What if I'm exactly where I need to be? what I want you to do today because this isn't just about me. I know that if you're listening to this, you've had a moment where you felt super stuck and in the loop, where you questioned if you were even good enough, where you weren't sure if things ever were going to feel quote unquote right.
So here's the action steps that I get and give to you for this first part of the series of What If It All Goes Right. I want you to set up your 24 hour pity party, that limit. Maybe it's only, it doesn't have to be 24 hours, it could be like an hour. Feel it, write it down, then get up and move. Take a walk. Ground yourself in the now, and I want you to start shifting and asking yourself the questions of what if it all goes right. And in the next episode, we're gonna talk about what to do next. How to start taking control over what you control.
because you are way stronger than you think you are. And you, you are so damn capable of making it all go right and realizing that actually it probably already is going right and that's the huge plot twist that typically happens, right? And I saw this amazing video, I believe it was on TikTok, I think it was like a commencement ceremony, but he was an actor and he was just talking all about how, you know, sometimes we...
get so caught up in that everything's not going quote unquote right. But a lot of times that for any storytelling plot, even for like a series or a movie, right? If it all went right, there wouldn't actually be a plot, right? There wouldn't actually be a story, right? So recognizing that right is so relative and that when things are quote unquote going wrong, those are exactly the challenges and the plot twists and the things that you need in order to get you to the destination that
either you know you want to get to or the destination that the universe has that's a much version of that than maybe you could ever even imagine right now. So I think that's such a powerful thing to think about. again, I want you to take those action steps today. Nothing super crazy. And we're going to continue to go through this in the series. And I'm literally, again, doing this with you. And
For today's episode of What If I Was Always Right, I hope this resonated with you because I'm not alone in feeling this way. I know there's so many of you out there who probably feel stuck in your own loop, whether it's in your career, your relationships, your goals, or just in life in general. But listen, you don't have to stay there, okay? You have the power to shift your focus. You have the power to take control of your mindset. You have the power to ask yourself, what if it actually goes right? What if it's already going right? So like I said, here's what I want you to do. I want you to...
to take a screenshot, share it on Instagram, tag me at Angela Gargano, and tell me what you're shifting today. Tell me how you are choosing this next step. Tell me all about the actions that you're gonna be taking away today from this episode, because trust me, when you start thinking this way, things really do begin to change. And if you haven't already, make sure you hit the subscribe button, leave a review, and share this with someone who needs this message today.
It's these conversations, it's these shifts that create the biggest ripple effect. And remember, you are literally built for this, okay? You are built to push past the fog, to reclaim your power, to create a life that truly feels like it's going right for you. I'll see you in the next episode where we dive into what happens after our pity party, how to take back control and real time moves forward. But until then, take a deep breath, get outside and keep reminding yourself, what if it all goes
