Angela Gargano (00:00)
Hey there and welcome back to What If It All Goes Right? The podcast where we break through doubts, challenge our limitations, and create real momentum in our lives. I'm your host, Angela Gargano, and today we're diving into part seven of the What If It All Goes Right? series. So we've been on an incredible journey together working through the right framework. We start with R, which is recognize and feel, giving yourself permission to acknowledge where you are.
We then went to I, identifying what you want, getting super clear on what success really looks like for you and while you're in control. G, game plan, mapping out realistic, achievable steps instead of feeling overwhelmed. H, holding onto that adaptable mindset because the journey isn't linear and flexibility is key to getting through tough moments. And that's exactly what today's episode is about. We're going to continue going into that holding onto that adaptable mindset, especially when you
stuck in that hallway of a challenge. The in-between space, where the door has closed, but the next one hasn't opened, or maybe it has, but you can't even see it. We all know that even the best game plan cannot shield us from setbacks, self-doubt, or moments when it feels like absolutely nothing is working. And let me tell you, that bumpy ride, it is real. But here's the truth, the only way you won't make it through is if you quit. This is where the adaptability comes in. And it's not
about the perfect journey. It's about adjusting, integrating the lessons and continuing forward no matter what. So today I'm going to share with you the real tangible tools that have helped me and my clients get through these tough in-between moments. And we're going to be talking about finding proof that success is possible, reconnecting to your why, and simple mindset shifts that will help you push through self-doubt. Because listen, the hallway might feel dark and uncertain, but it's also where growth happens.
So if you're in the space right now, if you're facing challenges and you're wondering how the hell you're gonna get through this, this episode is for you.
So want you imagine right now standing at the threshold of change. You've just experienced a setback, a door has closed, maybe you lost an opportunity at work or you face a personal challenge that made you question your strength in that moment and you found yourself in a dark certain hallway. You can't see the next door, you feel overwhelmed, you maybe feel isolated and sometimes even defeated. And I remember the time after I tore my ACL on American Ninja Warrior, in an instant the door to my athletic life slammed shut.
And I was in immense pain, both physically and emotionally, and I felt lost in that dark hallway. And I questioned everything. Who was I without that athletic identity? Could I ever get back on my feet? But in that hallway, I realized something critical. I just had to keep moving. I took one small step, then another, and slowly I started to see hints of light at the end of the tunnel. That period through and
was incredibly challenging and it transformed me. And it wasn't about the door that closed, it was about the journey through the hallway and the lessons I learned about being radically adaptable, about resilience and ultimately growth. This is a very essence of holding onto an adaptable mindset. You learn to trust that every challenge, even when it feels like you're never gonna get through it, will eventually lead you to a new beginning.
and it's in those in-between moments that you grow the most. So one of the most powerful tools that I wanna go through, and I wanna start with my first tool that I use because, the last episode we talked all about this adaptability mindset, but there's so many other tools that I feel like you can have in your toolbox to help you push through it. So I wanna go through some of the ones that really resonated with me, and a reminder, you don't need to use all these tools, but I want you to take a tool that truly resonates with you, and you literally take what you need from them.
So the first tool that I used was something called the CTFAR method, okay? And this really helped me to get past those moments of self-doubt and really identify it. And this method is a variation on a well-known ABC model from a cognitive behavioral therapy popularized by Albert Ellis in the 1960s. And it stands for C, Circumstance, T, Thought, F, Feeling, A, Action.
an R result. So I'm break it all down for you and how exactly you use a CTFAR method. Now I've utilized this with my clients, not only for fitness clients, but also leaders, and it really truly does work and it really allows you to gain this awareness. It also gives you a visual representation of maybe where your brain is at and how you can really switch it over. And I was literally journaling this.
every single day and literally journaling the same circumstance over and over again until eventually like I realized that the shift was truly happening. I was waking up each day and I was thinking more positively. So for the C circumstance, what you're going to do is you're going to write this in a column vertically, right? So you're going to write C-T-F-A-R and it's going to be like vertically up and down. Okay. And horizontally under C, you're going to write down the objective situation that you're facing.
So what's the fact? For example, I have a major product deadline coming up and my team is under pressure. Okay. Or maybe the circumstances, I just tore my ACL. Okay. Then underneath that, you're going to see T, which is thought. And horizontally, you're going to jot down the initial negative thought that comes up. For instance, I'm never going to finish this on time and I am not good enough. So what is the thought that you are having about that circumstance?
then you're gonna continue lower, you're gonna go to the F, and you're gonna have the emotions that arise from that thought. Is the emotion stress? Is it anxiety? Is it fear? Let's really put a name to the emotion and what it is that you're feeling. Again, we're really identifying how you're feeling about that circumstance right now at this moment, and this is an unbiased place to write on a piece of paper, right? No one's judging you here, it's just you, yourself, and your notes.
A is for action. So you're write down what actions you are currently taking or not taking because of these thoughts or feelings. For example, I'm procrastinating, I'm avoiding starting a project. Like what is it action-wise that you are doing right now? And then finally, you're gonna get to R, which is the result. And this is gonna describe the outcome that is emerging because of the cycle of feeling stuck, missing deadlines, spiraling into self-doubt. And when I went through this process after my injury,
It's interesting, when you get to the R result, a lot of times it's like a really elevated version of what's actually happening. Like, for example, like what's the result? Like everybody hates me and the world is falling apart. And you look at that and you're like, wait, is that actually true? And when I went through this process after my injury, I saw how the negative loop was feeding my fear, right? Because I kept looping these negative thoughts about this circumstance, And this is exactly what's gonna happen.
in this hallway, right? And we need to find a way to be able to gain awareness around this and find ways to move through it. And again, moving through it is gonna be key. Me putting that pen to that piece of paper and going through the CTF method helped me move through it. And then we're gonna flip the script by writing out the same thing. And you're gonna write this out right next to it on the other side, CTFAR, okay? And what you're gonna do is,
you're going to replace that negative thought with a positive one. So the circumstance remains the same, but then you're going to shift the feelings to a more hopeful state. Define actions that will move me forward and envision a successful result. And this exercise has been a game changer for me. It helps me bring clarity to your internal dialogue. It shows that the only thing holding you back is a story that you keep telling yourself. And a lot of times the stories you're telling yourself aren't really true. So I just want to reflect real quick on some of this stuff on here. So circumstance will always remain the same.
But then maybe you shift your thoughts, okay, to I'm never going to be finishing, finish this project on time and I'm not good enough, to I'm going to schedule out when I'm going to finish this project and we're going to make it work. And I'm going to do the best job that I can. And maybe the feeling instead of stress, anxiety, is fear, is it's feeling hopeful. It's feeling smart. It's feeling able, whatever the feelings might be that you want to feel.
And maybe the action is instead of procrastinating and avoiding starting the project, you find what works really well for you and you figure out what that first step is and you just do it. Maybe it's using like a Pomodoro technique timer and it's 60 seconds, cool. I'm going to get that one part of the product done and just get started and moving forward with it. And for the result, instead of imagining what the result was, if everything would go wrong, what if it didn't go wrong? What if it went right? What would that result be?
You finished the project on time. You learn a lot about yourself and your team. It goes super well. Or maybe, okay, cool. It didn't go as well as expected, but the result is I learned so much from it. And when we did the project again, we were able to come back even stronger with a whole new perception and we've learned so much from it and the learning outcomes we had. So again, take a moment right now if you want to and pause this video and try the CTFAR method. I'm so curious as to...
what circumstance that you might be having on your mind right now. And again, with all of these different pieces for this adaptability mindset and having radical adaptability, it's not about feeling really good right away. You're not necessarily going to totally believe what's on the positive side of the CTFAR method just yet, and that is okay. It's okay if you don't believe it just yet, okay? Because...
you're going to start to feel it within time. And that's exactly what happened with me when I tore my ACL. I was like, ugh, like I don't want to do this stupid gratitude stuff. I don't want to write and shift my negative thoughts. Like meditation is stupid. It's like all the stuff that I was thinking. And then I was like, OK, you know what? I'm in a really dark place right now in a hallway right now. So like, what do I have to lose? Like, why not?
Why not just freaking try it? I'm like, have nothing to lose. This is not going to hurt me by trying to shift my negative thoughts. So I'm like, you know what? I'll give it a shot. And while I didn't believe it the first time I did it, after doing it a couple more times, I started noticing myself showing up a lot differently because it was truly rewiring my brain. My brain was being rewired. I was really starting to think a lot more positively. I was getting less irritable about things. So this is going to take practice and time.
What I suggest here is going through the different tools I'm going through in this series, pick what works well for you and really pick something that you can maybe stick to for about 30 days because you're going to start to feel the effects. But a lot of times it's not an instant gratification thing, which is what a lot of us really want. And the second tool is something you probably see all the time, but it's gratitude. And this is seriously transformative. And research.
by Emmons and McClellan shows that practicing gratitude daily changes neural pathways, making us less reactive to stress and more attuned to positive opportunities. So very similar to what I was just saying about the CTR-FAR method. It truly does rewire your brain so that you are less reactive and more proactive, which is exactly what we want to become when we're in that hallway, right? So for me,
Even when I was in the thick of a dark hallway, I would sometimes force myself to pause and reflect on the three things that I'm grateful for, even if I felt super silly at first. And it be as simple as being grateful for a quiet morning, for the support of a friend, or the fact that I have an opportunity to start fresh. And I encourage you to integrate gratitude into your daily routine. And every morning, I write it down in my journal. Three things I'm grateful for no matter what, even if I have no idea what it is that I'm grateful for.
And sometimes I'll even on my walk, I will actually say the gratitude out loud. Like I'll walk my dog and I'll have it stack it with something else. You could even think of something simple where, you know what? You have to brush your teeth every day. Hopefully everyone in here is listening, is brushing your teeth every day. Maybe you brush your teeth and while you're brushing your teeth, you say some gratitude out loud. How easy is that to integrate that into your life and to stack that? And after a while, it does work. Gratitude is so important. You have to, if you
don't appreciate and you're not grateful for what you have right now, when you do get the thing that you've always desired to have, you're probably still not going to be grateful, right? So really shifting and really rewiring your brain to be grateful what you do have. And once you're grateful for what you do have and you see the opportunities that you do have right now, it's going to allow all those things to come to you so much faster. And tool number three, the what if it all goes right method and journaling. Now,
When I go through this, it's so interesting. was talking to some of this the other day. I've been hearing from a lot of people that there are certain, you know, people who are out there doing keynote speaking and doing different things and they're not necessarily authentic because they're not actually maybe doing some other framework. And what's so cool about this white off it all goes right method is I literally use it daily. And it's something that really helped me get through. So I, when I talk about this method, the methodology, it's something that
worked really well for me and helped me get through a really tough time and I know it will help you as well. And what I do in my journals, I write my through gratitude, I typically do like a little dump of like any emotions that I'm feeling and then I always go to what if it all goes right. This isn't just a list of dreams, it's a detailed narrative of your ideal future as if it has already happened. So sit down and ask yourself, what does my perfect day look like? How do I feel when everything is aligned?
What am I doing? Who am I with? And write it out in vivid detail. What my life would be like if every challenge was overcome. And at first, when I did this, it felt almost delusional. It's having this
of what the future could look like. And maybe fully believe in it just yet. Like today when I was writing my what if it all goes right method, I swear I was writing about my wedding day. And it seems like super delusional what I was thinking and what I'm writing, but I just like was feeling it. I'm like, you know, I'm feeling this. I'm going to write this all down and this is how it's going to be. And this is how I'm going to get proposed to. And this is the whatever. I wrote it all down delusionally.
Using the imagination that maybe the imagination we used to have as kids, right? Just using all of that and writing it down delusionally. And I do the same exact thing with my knee. I kept writing out, if it all goes right? again, I wrote this as if it already happened. So I said, I came back and I had this epic comeback and I've been able to help and impact so many people's lives and I'm writing it as if it has happened and I'm feeling it and I'm truly there. And even though maybe I don't fully believe that it's actually has happened.
by writing it down.
It's going to completely rewire my brain. And it's going to completely rewire your brain as well. This method is about cultivating belief in your future, success, and aligning your actions with that vision. And when you listen to your own voice affirming these possibilities, it will become a part of your reality.
And I've seen it and I lived it. And I write it every single day. And I'm so excited for you to take it with you. So again, maybe it's not that tool, maybe that tool doesn't resonate with you. Maybe you're listening to this, you're like, nah, I the gratitude better. I'm down for the CTFAR method, whatever it might be. But for me, the what if it all goes right method just really hits close to home. And I'm so excited to reflect maybe back on past journals where I've written what if it all goes right to see what has truly come and truly emerged from that feeling and that sense. And it's interesting because
Sometimes what if it all goes right out feels is one way and then like a few weeks later you're like, wait, actually I've got a clearer picture of what it all going all right actually means to me. So your challenge today, if you're feeling stuck in that hallway is to do this CTFAR method, okay? Grab a notebook, write down your current circumstance, your negative thoughts, your feelings, your actions and.
the resulting outcomes. And I want you to do it for a couple of days. I wouldn't just do it for one day. Do it for a couple of days. Again, if you're going to use this method and you'd like this tool, then flip it, write the same circumstance, but replace the negative thought with that empowering one. And again, notice the shifts in your feelings. You may not fully feel it right away, but it might take some time. Practice the daily gratitude. Maybe write it or say it out loud. Maybe do it while you're brushing your teeth. And make this a non-negotiable. If anything, this is the easiest thing to do to help you get out of that hallway.
it's simple, it takes literally maybe like five seconds. And start off your what if it all goes right journal and feel free to share it with me if you ever want to, you don't have to, but write in detail about your ideal day as if it has already happened. I don't want you to hold back. want you to be vivid, I want you to be bold and believe it's not only possible, but it's inevitable. And here's the bonus tip. If you're ever feeling overwhelmed, I want you to take a moment and record yourself reading your what if it all goes right journal entry.
and I want you to put it on a voice recorder. I want you to play it back at night with maybe some music that's uplifting. I like to put it to sometimes a high frequency music in the background. Research shows that our brains are most receptive to positive affirmations when you wake up and just before you go to sleep. And this will help anchor those beliefs deep within your subconscious. A reminder, changing your mindset, it takes time. It's not an overnight transformation. It's a daily practice. But I want you to commit to these exercises for the next seven days.
then maybe 14 days, then eventually maybe 90 days. And I promise you, you'll notice a shift in how you perceive challenges and more importantly, how you will move through them.
I want you to know that even when things feel dark, even when self-doubt whispers that you're not enough, you have the tools to rewrite that story. You have the power to hold onto an adaptable mindset to keep moving through the hallway and step into that next door of possibility. So to wrap up today's episode, we talked about the importance of staying in the game even when your mind is clouded with fear.
We dove into the actual tools like the CTFAR method, a cognitive strategy with the roots in the ABC model of cognitive behavioral therapy. We explored the power of gratitude backed by research and the transformative practice of journaling your what if it all goes right vision. These aren't just exercises, they are lifelines. They're proof that you can handle whatever comes your way. They're the reason why even on your toughest days, you have the strength to keep walking through that hallway.
And remember the only way you won't make it through is if you quit. So I challenge you today, do that CTF ER method, practice the gratitude, write the what if it all goes, write journal entry, record those affirmations and listen them every morning and night. And if this episode resonated with you, please share it with someone who might need this message. Tag me on Instagram at Angela underscore Gargano and tell me how your game plan for moving forward through the hallway is going, how you were.
holding on to that adaptable mindset and asking yourself, if it all goes right? Till next time, stay adaptable, push forward, and I know that no matter how bumpy the ride is, you've got this.
