Angela Gargano (00:00)
Hello ladies and gentlemen, maybe here for another episode of what if it all goes right and I'm literally in my bed in my hotel room and I'm just feeling so inspired and I felt like I had to come on here and do another candid recording, a little disorganized situation because I just had so many aha moments from this event I'm at in Nashville. So I wanted to come on here and share those moments with you and
a couple of conversations that really stuck with me that I feel like could really benefit you in your life to really help you push past hardships and remind yourself that the whole what if it all goes right.
it's already going right, even if it doesn't feel like it. And some insights that I had from some amazing top performers and speakers that I was at So I'm just going to go through some of the stuff in my notebook. So we have said so many amazing, impactful conversations. And I feel like it's really important if you ever go to events. I'm at this event right now. I don't know anybody and
it's hard to just like randomly start a conversation. And when you do it a couple of times, you start to realize it really isn't so bad and you start to really really important about going to these things on your own is really being fully interested in your conversation and asking lots of questions. So that's exactly what I did. I just kept diving deeper and asking more questions and really getting curious about
these other amazing people that I've met and where they are at in their journey, bit about their life. And I was able to, again, have such impactful conversations. But one of my favorite conversations I had was with this man, Jorge. And Jorge sat down next to me and we started having this conversation and I could already tell, one, his energy was just so uplifting. And two, you could tell he was such a hard worker.
and had gone through so many things. And he really, with his business, saw an opportunity to really bridge the gap with an area that he saw was not being catered to. And he ran with it. He saw that people didn't have this one thing. Realized there was a problem. Realized that he had the solution for it and he created it himself. He also told me some amazing journeys that he had about growing up and how
he was in Mexico City and he had to learn how to sell things to people who didn't want to buy anything and how incredible of a skill that is because it's easy to sell things to people who want it, right? But to sell something to somebody when they really don't feel like they want or need it and how to get creative with those different things. So anyways, that's not exactly what I wanted to come in here and chat about, but just some of the conversation that we had that I thought was really cool to just learn more about his story and...
He's been successful in so many different areas and yeah. And I just want to talk about what he said to me that I thought was like, my goodness. So I told him that for my keynote, I speak on resilience because I I speak on resilience. I speak on overcoming challenges and how you can push through and really come out of something stronger, right? But what he said to me is he's like, it's not that you're just resilient though.
He said, you're anti fragile. And I was like, anti fragile. So when I think about fragile, I think about a really expensive vase that you touch and it basically just like breaks and falls apart, right? So very easily can't withstand pretty much any type of pressure. And when I think about anti fragile, I think of that same vase and I think of it as it fell on the floor. It wouldn't break. You threw it against the wall, still won't break. Like it literally just will not break no matter what the heck you do to it.
It's kind of like an egg, because it sounds wild. Have you ever had an egg that just literally will not break? Like you've been in an egg toss competition or something and you toss it and for some reason that one egg, no matter what you do, literally nothing's happening to it. And you don't understand why, because it's literally the same solid egg as everyone else. It's not hard boiled or anything. So it makes me think of that. And when I think about antifragile, I think about how
not only was I through my journey of tearing my ACL, I also was anti-fragile, which means I didn't break. Right? Did I have points where I felt like I was going to break? Sure. But I feel like when the pressure is on, I am able to really thrive under that pressure. And what we talked about was
How can we create that same pressure that you're gonna have in your everyday life, whether it be for business or for life, and how can you remain anti-fragile and not break, right? How can you not break during the really tough times when you're really in the in-between moments and you're really in the low and something's really pressuring you? And it makes me also think about how an American Ninja Warrior
I worked very, hard. I was going to the gym every single night that I could late at night, driving hours to the gym. If any of my friends are listening to this, you remember that I was driving literally an hour, hour and half to practice at night from 9 p.m. to 12 p.m. to just get what we could in after our busy long work days. And we all worked super hard, but when we got to coming in competing on the show, even the people who worked harder than me and were
better than me, they sometimes under the lights and under being under a TV, like on a TV show, they would break under the pressure and they wouldn't get as far as they wanted to go, even though they were strong enough, because they would break under the pressure. They are fragile, which is a great area of growth and growth opportunity they can have. Whereas for some reason for me, I don't know why.
This also happened in gymnastics meets as well, but I would just thrive under the pressure. Like as soon as the pressure was there, I was like, bring it. I am ready. So really that extra fragileness, which I think is really, really powerful when it comes to so many different things in life, especially when you're a leader, when you're a maybe a mom, right? Really, really understanding how you can.
thrive under the pressure that life is going to bring to you. Now that doesn't mean you can't be human. You can't feel things. can't be a little nervous or you can't get sad when something happens, but just means that you're not going to break and you're going to keep yourself going. Even when it's tough, even when you're feeling like you're at your low, low, or when you have the pressure coming on from all the worlds or you're on a stage like American Ninja Warrior on a stage like the fitness competitions I was at.
So what are the qualities and how can you continue to thrive during this time? And I thought that was really, really interesting. And I just want to read, I have my phone here too. I have another quote that I saw. From another, somebody that I'm very inspired by, but she wrote something about resilience. Okay. I this was a really powerful thing too. And I want to share it.
And I this was really, really true. So this is not only with resilience, but also with like how you can remain anti-fragile and not break under the pressure and keep it going. She said, there's a period of time between starting a thing and being successful at it that really sucks.
really sucks. And this could be starting a thing or just like a certain time of life in general. It requires tenacity. It requires taking action when you're not motivated or inspired. It requires a level of grinding. It's not shiny or sexy or fun, but it will be worth it. Resiliency is built from acting without assurance as to what will happen, but trusting ourselves that we can handle it. So resiliency is trusting that we can handle it.
and being anti-fragile is not breaking under that pressure while we're going through this tough time.
It's not breaking. It's thriving under the pressure. It's continuing to push ourselves. So how many, like what types of things can we do in order to remain anti-fragile? I'm gonna go through that in a second. But I just wanna go through some of the learnings that I have. And it made me think about the journey that a lot of my clients have with getting their pull-up. Let's talk about how much it relates to life. And again, you don't have to use the pull-up.
It could be some other area of life, right? But you start the thing, right? Ninja warrior, a new job, new role, whatever, and you're excited. You're motivated. You're like, ready, I got this. And you want to think of it as that line, right? The line that you're going up here. And it's going great. You're feeling great. And then, yeah, it's OK.
All right, I'm still going in here. Boom, it's going pretty good. I got this. Then.
shit's getting hard oof it's not feeling so great it's not feeling so great it's still not feeling great shit shit shit okay maybe a little better okay damn okay shit okay and if you're watching the video this I'm I have a line that I'm drawing right now of this up and down and then you get to a point right at the bottom and it's the I want to give up point and it's so funny
Because I see my clients in their pull up. This always happens around like week six, maybe week seven. They're in this point. Some women might have gotten their pull up and then they're feeling like they're having like a little low at this point and they want to give up and they're sending me all the things. Trust me, I've gotten all the messages before. It's always at this one particular point and
What me and Hory talked about was that there's a point also in a marathon, which I guess is at like 20 miles. And it's a proven science point where at 20 miles, you have a point where you hit something called hitting the wall. So you're hitting a wall. And this is when like your glucose levels are shot. You're feeling like shit. And you really do want to stop. And some people stop and they break.
because they're mentally fragile. They can't keep going. They can't get their mind to be like, I'll just go a little bit more.
the pull it they get to this point they're hitting this wall they can't get there they're having issues they're questioning their whole identity in their life and like what they're did and questioning everything that they've done to get to this point
After you have the thought of that, and you start to hit that wall.
You've got the two choices, right? You can stop. No one's telling you keep going. Or.
and say, if I don't stop? What if I just keep going just a little bit longer? And that little hint, that little moment.
That's where the magic happens. I have a diagram I drew here, showcasing the is happening right when you're hitting the wall.
right when you want to give up.
So when you start to hit that wall, instead of saying to yourself, I'm gonna stop, don't, I want you to take this as a sign. You're almost there. You're almost there. You're being tested.
So taking a moment when you're during this wall point, taking a deep breath, coming back to your body, coming back to the present moment, giving yourself a little pep talk, asking your friend for a little pep talk, and saying to yourself, this will not break me. I got to a point with my ACL with this, where I wanted to give up. And when I say that I wanted to give up, I was in a low, point. I talk about this in some of my keynotes before, but.
I had a point where I was so low during this ACL situation where I didn't feel like I was worth it because, you know, tearing your ACL as an athlete, you lose your identity of being an athlete. And you think that without that, you're nothing. Right.
And I had a point where I was really caught up. I like, I want to live anymore? Do I matter? Am I going to be able to get through this? I really felt a bit hopeless for a little bit, to be honest. And.
I could have stayed stuck there. I was hitting my wall.
I slowed down for second. took a deep breath.
I was like, is not how my story ends.
I started to realize that there was some beauty in this breakdown, that the magic was closer than I thought.
You're gonna hit these walls and I want you instead of thinking when you're hitting these walls where he was moments instead of Saying why me? Say, you know what? me. Let's do this What else at this point to think about it? What else do you have to lose if it's really gone that bad? Why not just try to go a little further just see what the hell happens Why not?
Right.
Maybe you to have a pep talk to a friend, call a friend. I'm telling you, I have such amazing people in my life. Or even the people that I told them that I was fine, they're like, you're not fine. Get a little pep talk for your friend. Call your friend, like, listen, girl, give me the freaking pep talk. My girl Sarah, who's on my team, is the best. She's a neat college gymnast, also a roommate. Girl, that girl gives me a pep talk so well.
She's like, I'm gonna give you some tough love, but I'm gonna tell you to keep, like, she pushes you, right? Get a pep talk, have a pep talk to yourself. Take a moment and back away from the situation. Reflect on it. Keep going.
I sometimes wonder
I feel like some of them maybe are born with the whole anti-fragile thing. They're able to push through hard shit. They've already been through some of the stuff before. But I do feel like you can build it. I do feel like you can build it up. So, okay. So you're at the point, you hit the wall. Okay. And for so many of my women, tell them to keep sticking through just a little bit, just a little bit, just keep sticking through a little bit longer. You've been doing all the work.
If you zoom out, can actually see this graph. You don't even realize that the graph is actually going up. It doesn't feel like it because you're in it. And you feel like you haven't been moving anywhere. Zoom out. It's going up. It's going up. It's going up.
I'm telling you, when those women do stick through that a little bit longer, I have particular client I'm thinking about right now, my Pull Up Revolution program, they're going to get it. They're going to get that pull up. The marathon runner, they're going to finish the 26 miles. As I keep going a little bit more, a little bit more, a little bit more, especially with the marathon runners, what I've heard is that as they pass that mat, that 20, when they want to fall apart, actually it starts to go away and you start to feel better. You start to break through it.
Right. You start to lean into it. How incredible is that? How powerful is that? When you think about that. And also when you think about the fact that pretty much everyone hits it there. Like the marathon, there's a stat, everyone hits it at mile 20. You're not alone. And if you look forward and you see the people who have, they got through it.
For the ACL, really helped me was looking at other people's journeys and seeing that they came back stronger, reading different articles that they came back stronger.
I'm not gonna break. I'm gonna keep going. I'm gonna be anti fragile I'm gonna be that egg that won't crack for some reason that I don't understand why
So.
Yeah, a huge part.
If you're in that right now, if you're in that hole, if you're in that in between, what we like to again call the hallway. I love to call it the hallway in between.
Which is where I felt for a little bit, like I said, I've been telling you all, between my me being an athlete and now me transitioning into speaker. Another thing he said, which I was really important, I told him that I'm like, I'm in this transition between being an athlete because everything in my life has always been athletics, athletics, athletics, athletics. And now it's athletics to. Question mark. But it's speaking because speaking.
I'm going to share my wisdom from all the journeys that I've had. And that is the next piece and the next step. So athlete, athlete, speaker to the wisdom, to share the wisdom and what I've gone through to show how I was able to stay anti-fragile, I think it's very fascinating. So.
That's my story.
You know this wouldn't be what if it all goes right if I didn't leave you with some action steps, right?
So I'd love to know for you, for you to write down.
Where do you thrive under pressure? Do you thrive under pressure? Or do you find yourself cracking under pressure?
if you are cracking under pressure.
What are some things you can do to remain anti-gradual during this, to thrive under the pressure, to lean into it? Is it just...
We're fighting on that? What is it?
Where are you at on your journey right now? Where you at on this little road? Are you in the hell yet about this space? Are you in the hallway?
where you're now realizing the magic is about to happen, whatever it might be for your pull-up, for your life career. Where are you right now?
And reminder, just like these marathon runners who hit that wall, if you're at that point, don't stop now. You're
beauty's here.
Anyways, that's my story. I need to go to bed because we're gonna have a long couple days. I just wanted to get that off my chest. And if you really enjoyed this episode, if you enjoyed this whole candid, very unscripted moments of me sharing my wisdom with you, please let me know. Let me know some things that you've taken away on this ramble. Again, it's not very scripted. It's not scripted at all, actually. And it's a little all over the place, but.
I'm hoping one little piece of insight from this can help you thrive. And I'm excited for you all to come on this journey with me as I go to this next phase in my life and I share my wisdom and I am peeping out of my hallway, becoming a top speaker. My goal is to become so good at this.
and share my wisdom and impact so many people to teach them about their resilience, to teach them about how to not break under pressure. And I want to be a top female speaker. I do.
And I know means we're going to have the waves, right? We're going to have the good and the bad. But I'm excited to take you on this ride with me. I remember even when things feel like they're not going great, I you to ask yourself, what if it all goes right? What if it's already going right?
