Angela Gargano (00:00)
Hey there and welcome back to What If It All Goes Right? The podcast where we dive deep into life's challenges, mindsetships, and the skills we need to live bold, powerful lives. I'm your host, Angela Gargano, and today we're talking about something I believe is misunderstood. Resilience. People hear the word resilience and often think it's some kind of superhero quality, something you're either born with or not, but...
Let me tell you something, resilience is not magic, it's not glamorous, it's a skill, a practice that you build over time. And it's about so much more than just getting through tough moments. So today I wanna unpack what resilience really is, the key factors that make it work and how radical adaptability, the ability to bend, not break, is at the heart of us all. So let's dive in.
So first off, super excited to have you all here today. If you're watching this video, you've seen this Pepper Girl here and I'm recording this episode live from my bed. I typically don't do any type of work in my bed, but I put my dishwasher on. So I was like, I don't want everyone to hear that when we're doing this podcast. know, Pepper Girl's settled in nice nights over here. Cutest girl in the entire world. Can we just say that?
But I really want to talk about what is resilience because I had this question asked to me the other day and I feel like I gave an answer that typically most people wouldn't give. So I want to dive in at how I view resilience because I really do feel like I view it a little bit differently. And I feel like resilience isn't just about bouncing back from a setback or toughing it out. It's about the ability to adapt.
to stay clear-headed, to move forward when life throws you a curveball. And it's about knowing deep down, like really internally, that no matter what happens, you are built to handle it. It's not about pretending that everything is fine. It's not about avoiding hard emotions and being the strong one. It's about practicing what I like to call radical
adaptability and choosing to see challenges as opportunities, even when it feels like obstacles. So let's dive into this whole not glamorous side of resilience. Because again, I really do feel like most people think it's this like superhero quality, right? It's like if you're resilient, you're a superhero and
you have no feelings and you just kind of go through things. But here's the thing, no one tells you about resilience. It is not glamorous. It's not always a rising from the ashes kind of moment. And most of the time, it's pretty messy. It's small. It's quiet decisions that you make every single day. And it's choosing to take one small step forward when you feel stuck.
and letting go of that worst case scenario thinking and reminding yourself that everything is actually going right, even if it doesn't feel like it. So staying open to this possibility that the challenges you're facing are exactly what you need to grow. Resilience isn't a superpower. It's a practice, okay? It is a practice just like anything else. Just like we talked about in another podcast, that confidence is a practice.
Right? We learn it by doing it. We learn it by living it. And it's going to take some time to truly become resilient. But what I really see as resilience is what someone had said to me the other day. They're like, Angela, I've seen you fall so many times because your girl over here, like I take a lot of action and sometimes it fails. Sometimes it fails over and over again. But if anything, what I do is I always am falling forward.
always adapting. I'm always learning from what it is that it was, you know, and sometimes my mindset isn't right. If anything, right now, I'm feeling very stuck. And it might be wild. And sometimes I wonder like, you know, even doing these podcasts, like, am I am I allowed to do a podcast about this kind of stuff when I'm feeling stuck? But if anything, I feel like it's probably one of the best moments to hop on and do a podcast because it's so much more vulnerable and you're so much more in it. And for me,
My stuckness is from a place of my transition that I'm in right now, where I'm transitioning from being all fitness all the time to really taking everything I've learned about radical adaptability. All the people that I've helped from years get in peak performance. Now I've helped literally famous people, top editors, top photographers.
get in their peak performance, which I personally didn't even realize like that's what I was doing. Like I knew I was helping them up level. I knew I was helping them get to this place and do something they once thought was impossible and make it in fact possible. I didn't realize all those things. So now I'm stuck in this place of trying to translate that all because I really want to put it in a playbook. And that's exactly what I've been doing in my keynote is putting that in a playbook.
and really teaching you how to become radically adaptable and really how to push through and become resilient and get that skill of resilience, which isn't always fully taught, but a lot of times you're living it. every single one of you right now, you have some kind of area or something that you've done in your life where you have been resilient.
and you can borrow a piece of that. You can take that with you to the next XB so you can remind yourself of that moment you did have and do it. So what makes someone resilience? And what are the key factors that help us build and practice resilience? So number one is, like I said, practice of radical adaptability. So resilience is rooted in being adaptable. It's about being flexible.
It's about adjusting to the situation and finding a way to keep moving forward. And when something doesn't go as planned, you're asking yourself, what can I actually control right now? How can I adjust my approach? And by being radically adaptable, and when you know that you have that trait, it really allows you to stop looking at the worst case scenario because you know that
Even if there is a worst case scenario, you got it. Like you can handle it. And that's where I come to number two here for the factors of resilience is really having a clear headed mindset. Resilient people don't dwell on the worst case scenario. They focus on possibilities, on solutions and the lessons within the struggle. So try this. When you feel overwhelmed, I want you to pause and ask, what if this is actually working out for me? Now,
I want to be really clear when I talk about this whole clear headed mindset because often when we are in a worst case scenario moment where things maybe aren't going so great, you're going to have a moment where you're feeling some sort of way, you know, maybe not feeling so great. And I want to be clear that resilience doesn't mean you don't have those feelings. It is so important. And we go over this in my right flank framework to reflect.
to feel those feelings. You're allowed to feel those feelings, the goal is to make sure you don't get stuck in those feelings. So feel all the things. anything, I've seen, this is, I'm not exactly sure who this from, but I thought this was great. Have yourself a little pity party, cry it out, phone a friend, talk to your dog. Have the moment. Allow yourself to be human.
we as humans are meant to feel.
but then pause and ask yourself, what if this is actually working out for me? Most of the time, especially in the moments where I'm feeling, I'm feeling stuck right now.
But I know there's a reason to that stuckness. There's a reason why we're here. And it's going to lead to something that I never thought was imaginable. It's beyond the scope of my brain can even wrap its head around. Number three is practicing the self-awareness. So resilience really starts with understanding yourself, your triggers, your strengths, your habits.
Reflect on how you've handled challenges in the past, what worked and didn't work. So this is really important. I know personally, and maybe you feel this way as well, my self-awareness when I get to a moment where things maybe didn't go so well and I get a little bit triggered is I go completely into paralysis. Like I am paralyzed. I can't do anything.
And it's hard for me to even get out of my head because my head is just ruminating and I'm just frozen. Right? So I know that's my trait. I know that's what I see come up. So I have that awareness around it. So really figuring out what tools you can utilize to get out of that paralyzed feeling. For me, I feel the feelings. I'm stuck. I'm paralyzed. I know to get unparalyzed, I need to actually get up.
I need to take my pause. I need to do something creative. I need to do something outside the scope of whatever that issue is so that I can get myself clear headed and come back to myself again. So really understanding what has worked for you and what hasn't worked for you. For you, you may have a fight or flight type response. So really getting that self-awareness and really understanding how you are and how you handle these challenges when it comes up.
so that you have some tools in your toolkit that you can use to get out of it. It's not saying it's gonna, and also just also timeline wise, it's not saying like something bad happens, feel your feelings, don't get stuck there. And then one day, like you're like better, like everything's fine. That's not realistic, right? Also don't give yourself a full crazy timeline with this because this process happens for each of us and for each challenge a little bit differently, but just knowing and deep down knowing in that awareness that you're gonna get through this.
Even though I feel crazy stuck right now, I have this weird feeling that like, I just know, I know I'm going to get through it. I've gotten through them before. I've gotten out of my head and I've done great things before. So it can happen again. four, embrace the discomfort. So growth and resilience, like we talked about, comes from leaning into discomfort, not avoiding it. It reminds you that this is hard, but I can do hard things.
You might have seen on some of my posts that I've had before, but I like to say the idea of growth hurts. Growth hurts.
in order to push past that growth and become resilient. So you do need to lean into that discomfort, understand it little bit more instead of falling backwards. And that's kind of scary sometimes because you're like, wait, you want me to lean in more to this? But it's super important so that you can evolve and become better from it.
Number five, and this is a huge one. When you know your purpose, why you're doing what you're doing, it's easier to stay grounded and push through tough times. So really coming back to your strong why and asking yourself, why does this matter to me? And what is the bigger goal? I have an amazing, I don't even want to call her my assistant. I call her my wing woman. She's been with me as a best friend, as someone helping me here within my business for so long.
And she's probably, if she's editing this right now, you're the best. We had this conversation today. You'll remember it. And I said, I don't know. I'm like, I'm feeling super stuck. I'm just not feeling passionate about the marketing that I'm doing for the pull-up program. I know that I'm seeing like huge transformations for these women. I'm helping them get to their peak performance, but the inside of the business, my head is spiraling.
And I just feel stuck. I didn't feel like I knew what to do. And she said, in these moments, you really need to come back to your why. So she gave me a bunch of worksheets, which was great. And I'm going to sit down and fill them out because it's so true. Sometimes we lose sense of our purpose and we lose sense of our why. And that's when things get 10 times harder. So it's revisiting those. And what that's going to take, though, is a moment of stillness, right? Because for me, my default is I also
once I get out of my paralysis, I like to just start doing a bunch of stuff like a doing like I'm just going to just start doing things. Mel Robinson said in her podcast the other day, sometimes when you feel stuck, you're like rearranging your furniture in your apartment that related so much to me. like, yes, I'm the girl who's like rearranging the stuff in her apartment because she's feeling stuck and doing all this random stuff. So really coming back and pausing.
Maybe taking a moment to meditate, go for a walk and sit down and really go through the purpose. That's exactly what I'm going to do. Because I do know I'm here for something bigger. I do know that I'm here for something bigger. You might feel exactly the same exact way. So let's take a moment, go back to that why and lead into this toughness and ask like, why is this happening? There is a reason there's always a reason.
Sometimes it's annoying because I'm like, can we just like have a, can it just be here? But like I said, I want to be real with you right now. I'm feeling a bit stuck. I'm in this weird transition phase. I'm moving from the focus on fitness to something bigger. I'm taking everything I've learned about getting myself and others to peak performance and I'm turning it into this playbook that anyone can use. And you know what? It is so uncomfortable. I feel unsure. But here's why I'm starting to realize.
this moment of feeling stuck might be exactly what I need to get to the next level. And every time I face a challenge like this, whether it be tearing my ACL and American Ninja Warrior or building my own business from the ground up, it's been these moments that taught me how to adapt, grow, and ultimately make a bigger impact. And I've had other moments too that were very similar to this. I quit my biological chemistry job. I was so nervous to quit that back in the day because it had stability.
I had no idea what I was doing with opening a business, but I took a chance on myself and I got really uncomfortable. And then I went to the next thing. Then I opened my gym. Then I felt uncomfortable again. Decided to close the gym. wasn't the fit. wasn't exactly what I wanted. Wasn't the life I was picturing. I was so scared to shut it down. I was so scared to, what are all these?
people that I've been working with who I'm obsessed with, like what are they gonna think of me? I felt like they were upset with me. But I also knew that a bunch of them were like, they're like, see you and we feel like you can shine in the city. So I had so many uncomfortable moments like this. I had no money after the gym, no money, zero dollars. I moved into my dad's basement, okay?
my dad's basement. And that was a whole other situation because he was going through a very rough time and I had to set through the burden of that as well. So I'm reminding myself that I'm sitting here feeling stuck sometimes and feeling like
I should be at a different point, but ultimately all these moments are exactly what we need to grow. So if you're feeling stuck too, I just want you to know that you're not alone and this moment might just be preparing you for something incredible. This moment is preparing us for something incredible.
So if you're ready to practice resilience in your own life, I'm gonna give you some steps to help you get started. I'm gonna do them with you, we're gonna do them together. You know here at What If It All Goes Right, main focus is that you actually take actionable steps. I don't want this to be something that you listen to or a book that you read and you never actually take the actionable advice from. So the first thing is what we talked about before. Number one is you're feel your feelings. Resilience doesn't mean ignoring how you feel.
I want you to acknowledge those emotions, but don't let them keep you stuck. Okay, we're not getting stuck there. We can feel them, but we're not getting stuck. So write down what you're feeling, write down why, and give your permission to just write it out with no judgment. What I love so much about journaling is it's a judge-free zone, right? You can literally write whatever you want. This is like an unbiased place where you can write all the craziness that's on your head and just...
Put it out on the paper. I want you to reframe the challenge. So ask yourself, what is this situation teaching me and how can I grow from this? So action steps practice, the what if it all goes right mindset. So I want you to visualize this challenge. How could it actually lead to something positive? Again, so often we think about what is going wrong, how it's gonna go wrong, but.
why I've literally dedicated all this time to what if it all goes right and this mindset is exactly this. I was sitting down in my journal and I was like, but what if it all goes right? And then I was looking at what if it all goes right? And I'm like, wait, what does that look like? Like I'm so set on everything that's gonna go wrong, but like, what if it went right? What does even going right look like? How could going right look right now after things have gone wrong and they'd be even better than I imagined? Sit down and write it out.
going to open up your mind so much. And I want you to take one small step. So when you're overwhelmed, focus on one thing you can do right now. So identify one small actual step towards your goal and do it today. A lot of times when we're in these places, when we're feeling really stuck, we're trying to do a million things and we're trying to solve also solve the problem like right now. Like the problem may not be solved today. That's okay. Okay.
one small actionable step that you can take. And number four, build your support system. So resilience isn't a solo journey. You do not have to go out this alone. You can surround yourself with people who lift you up, who challenge you to grow, reach out to someone you trust and share what you're going through. I'm so grateful that I have amazing friends in my life. My friends, Marissa, April, Emily, I'm giving all my friends these shout outs. I never thought that I would have such a support system in my entire life.
I can call them at any time, ball my eyes out about the most random stuff and they're gonna listen to me. And I'm so grateful for that with no judgment. I call my friend the rest of day, I was bawling my eyes out. I'm like, I don't know why I'm crying. I'm like, I feel so behind on everything. And the next day I got my period.
I was like, that's what was happening over that. I definitely was upset about it, but she just let me fall on the phone. And then she calls me a week later talking about something. She's like, yeah, I got my period too and I'm crying. I'm like, this is so nice. How nice is it to have that phone or friend moment that you can reach out to? And if you don't have that yet, just know that there are people out there that absolutely I did not find my circle of friends for a very, very long time.
So I'm really, really grateful. I've had friends along the way who were absolutely great, but I feel like I haven't had found like my permanent with me all the time friends. So I'm just really grateful for that. And celebrate your wins. Every step forward is progress. So celebrate no matter how small. At the end of the day, write down one thing that you are feeling proud of. Maybe today you are just proud of getting the F out of it.
win. Okay? Maybe you're proud of yourself. I'm gonna tell you something I'm proud of. I'm proud of that every single night I've been washing my face. That sounds so so silly, right? I've been washing my face. I've been putting on cute Paris pajamas and I've been going to bed. Typically when I'm really tired and I'm working really hard, I just will just go to bed and I'm like, no, I'm gonna wash my face. I'm gonna like put a cute outfit on. I'm gonna spray my my bed with some awesome sleep mist and
That's what I'm going to do. And you should be proud of those little moments. So here's what I want you to take away from today. Resilience isn't about being a superhero. It isn't about being a ninja. It's about showing up, even when it's hard. It's about practicing radical adaptability. It's about trusting that you're built.
to handle whatever comes your way and reminding yourself that everything, even the messy and uncomfortable parts, is actually working out for you. So if you're feeling stuck right now, I'm gonna challenge you to see this moment as an opportunity. Take a deep breath, focus on what you can control, and take one small step forward. And as always, keep asking yourself, what if it all goes right? What if it's already going?
Until next time, keep showing up, keep adapting, and keep building the resilience that will take you to the next level. You've got this. If this resonated with you, share it with a friend. Let me know how you feel about it. And if you want to know more about this radical adaptability and do want me to come in to speak to your corporations, your teams, or anything for my keynote.
what if it all goes right head over to my website and I have a link on there where you can tell me all about your event and I can see if it's a good fit.
