Angela Gargano (00:00)
Hey there and welcome back to What If It All Goes Right? The podcast where we explore the mindset shifts, habits and stories that help us create the life that we want. I am your host, Angela Gargano, and today we're talking about something I've been reflecting on deeply. Why are we always rushing? I had this eye-opening conversation with a friend recently about how we're all in a hurry, how we're constantly
wanting things to happen now or even yesterday. And it's not just about being impatient. It's about how living in the future creates this constant feeling of anxiety. My friend said something that really stuck with me. If you're living in the future, you're living in anxiety. If you're living in the past, you're living in depression. Pretty sure that's actually a Brianna West quote. I absolutely love her books.
That hit me really hard because I've been feeling that rush myself lately. And as I shift gears with my business, with my podcast and my speaking engagements and my mission to help even more women achieve their first pull up, I have these big goals and expectations for the future. And so does Pepper, clearly, did you hear her? But that rush to get to the finish line, I sometimes miss the beauty and the lessons of the present moment.
So today I want to talk about how we can slow down, stay patient and focus on right now. Because when we live in the present, we not only reduce that anxiety, we also feel better about ourselves and our progress. So let's dive in. What do you think Pepper? So funny enough, as we're getting started this episode, Pepper is just crying and I can't tell with my dog if she's crying because she's not feeling well.
She had a little bellyache today. Or if now she sees that when she moans, like she does this cuteness, I immediately go up to her and I'm like, what do you need, baby? What do you need? Pepper, what is it? You feeling okay?
I'm just gonna lick the mic. But anyways, let's dive in. And I wanna start with that big question. Why are we in such a hurry? Truly. For high performers like myself, I think it really comes down to a few different things. We have these high expectations. We set big goals and feel like we're falling off if we're not achieving them fast enough.
Maybe it's comparison. We look at others who seem to be ahead of us and think, why am I not there yet? How can't I get there right there? Even though you don't know what chapter of their life that they're on. Maybe you didn't see their chapter one, two, three, and they're on chapter like 20. And some FOMO, fear of missing out. We're afraid that if we don't move fast, we're going to miss our chance. But here's the truth, rushing doesn't get us there any faster. It just makes the journey so much more stressful.
I'm thinking back to this conversation I had a while back. I can't remember who it was. I think it was maybe with my godfather. I can't remember. But he'd said to me, he was in traffic one day and clearly everyone was at a dead stop. I'm originally from New Jersey and New York City, so traffic is just like a thing. he said, there's this person who's like in their car freaking the heck out, like freaking out, flipping out, because they obviously need to get to a destination.
I mean, what are you gonna do? Like you're stuck in traffic. The traffic's not gonna just like magically disappear. And I remember him being like, you're not gonna get there any faster by stressing and having anxiety right now while you're stuck in the traffic. So like, why do it to yourself? why even put yourself through that? You don't need to.
And the thing is when we start living the future and we're always thinking about what's next, we're super disconnected from the present moment. Maybe in that moment in your car when you're stuck in traffic, you could listen to a great podcast or catch up on something that you haven't been able to do, right? But the disconnect from the present really creates that anxiety. And we worry about things that haven't even happened yet, right? Also, my wing woman, Sarah, who I talk about all the time.
She had said this to me before when I had a launch that I was doing and I wasn't really sure how it was going to go. And I honestly just thought it was going to fail. I had this this back of my mind. I'm like, it's just going to fail. And I'm like, am the business owner. I can decide if we're just not going to do this launch anymore. And she was like, why are you fearing about things that haven't even happened yet? You don't even know what what the end result is going to be. So why are you so anxious about it? And that was like, touche, touche. So
We feel like we're failing if we're not already at that finish line, but we miss the small wins, the lessons and the moments and the joys that happen right now. And that's actually the most important part about the process, which you hear all the time, right? But here's the thing, life isn't just about the destination. It's about the steps we take along the way. And when we rush, we rob ourselves of the chance to fully experience and appreciate those steps.
another conversation with a friend the other day talking about how, again, this transition that I'm in right now, and I've been very impatient about it because I'm impatient, just like we're talking about in here. just sitting down into journaling for a moment and just saying to myself, you know what, like I have the opportunity and like this is, there's something so much bigger on the other side that I don't even know what it is. But at the end of the day, that thing doesn't even matter. It's that, I have to go through whatever it is I'm going through right now.
in order to make it to that destination that I'm thinking I want to go to. And those lessons are going to be the most important lessons I learn. And I'm seeing more and more every single day as I'm diving into becoming this better version of myself, as I'm diving into being the best possible speaker and podcaster that I can ever be and just learning so much. I'm learning about so many missing steps that I have that I've been missing. And
It brings me back to when I really wanted to get the cover of Oxygen Magazine. And I, in 2016, was like sending emails to these people. And I was just like, hey, like I wasn't like right away being like I want to be in the cover. But you're just trying to make those relationships, but really wanting it like now in that moment. And when I did want to get in the cover in 2021, I'm so glad I got it in 2021 because that person on the cover was such a different version of the person who was wanting it.
right now, where I had gone through so much and I feel like I had grown so much within that time. So I'm trying to compare it to some other time that I've had so that I feel a little better about it. So what happens when we stop rushing and we start staying patient? When we're patient, we give ourselves grace to grow and we evolve at our own pace. We focus on the process instead of obsessing over the outcome. We feel more grounded. We feel more present and connected to ourselves.
And it's pretty much like climbing a staircase. You can't jump to the top step without tripping a couple of times. You have to take it one at a time. And when you focus on each step, you realize how much progress you're actually making. So if you're in a moment right now where you're having all this anxiety that you're not where you want to be, but you're taking these small steps every single day, take a moment for yourself each day and celebrate. Zoom out for a second. Ask yourself, What have I grown?
I've probably grown so much. Probably so many things that I learned. Okay, so clearly she's fine. She just wants to play with the toy, by the way, if you're watching the video right now with my dog as she's pulling this, okay. So if you're feeling rushed or anxious about the future, here are some tools that can help you slow down, that can help you to stay present and help you get centered, okay? So practice mindful awareness. So...
Take a few moments to pause and notice what is happening around you. What can you see, hear, feel, or smell right now? Being mindful helps pull you out of the future and thinking back to the present moment. So I used to this all the time in my car, walking on the path outside here in Austin, and I would just walk, and my therapist had told me to do this. She said, okay, look at the sky and just say the color out loud, blue. Look at the tree and say what color it is, green, and just.
saying that and reflecting and getting back to the present moment and just saying those things, it did bring me back to being centered. So what's really great about that is like how simple is that? It's something super simple you can do because sometimes if we're sitting here and we're just like, I need to practice mindful awareness and you're asking yourself to do all these things, but you're like, wait, how do I even do that? So looking at something, saying that color, defining that color and just kind of going through I think really helps.
When you do the see, hear, feel, smell right now, that's definitely like a sense of meditation. I had read Emily Fletcher's book, who's big with meditation, and that's where she started. And that's when I started meditating, I learned all about how, you know, sitting down, allowing yourself to listen to the sounds around you, to looking behind your eyeballs, to smelling, to tasting, which allows you to bring you back to that present moment. And she also really helped me learn how to stay present with.
you know, as these thoughts start to linger in about the past, their future, just saying, Hey, that's cool. I know your thoughts are there. Right. Like having that awareness around it, but then just coming back, coming back to it. Like this pepper pepper is like, I just want to play with your toy. So number two, focus on what you control today. So instead of stressing about the future, which you have no idea what's actually going to happen in the future, ask yourself one small thing. What can I do today? What can I do today to move forward? One small thing, something super teeny.
And I want you to focus on that daily action to help build momentum without overwhelming you. One small thing. Okay. For me, I am trying to right now really scale and optimize my pull-up program. It's created such a huge impact, but now we're at that next phase and I'm like, don't, something I've never seen before. I've no idea what I'm doing. If anyone's listening to this podcast and you're an advisor, help me. I'm just trying to figure it out
So I was overwhelming myself with the whole bulk scenario of what that looks like in order to scale this business in order not only to scale this business, but also make sure that I have the level of support I need with my coaches, that everyone's getting a great experience when it comes to pull up revolution because that's my biggest, want this to be an amazing experience for every female that comes through here.
But it was really hard for me to figure out exactly how to do that. Cause I'm like, I'm sitting here and just like when I was a gym owner, I am doing the marketing. I am the copywriter. am the client at success person. I'm all these different hats and trying to figure out how I can get rid of some of those hats. So as I've been focusing on this next step of this journey, I had to this week be like, what is the step one? Like, where is the bottleneck? Where's the one thing that I need to work on and just just focus on that one thing and get really good at it.
It's really hard because every day like I have this like creeping anxiety of, of the other stuff that keeps coming in my mind, but I keep trying to tell myself to just focus on one thing. So one daily action that you can take right now. ⁓ so that you can help to build that momentum without feeling overwhelmed. Three, celebrate the small wins. Don't wait for the big achievements to feel proud. Celebrate every step you take, write down one thing you accomplished today, no matter how small that it is. This could be.
Like we talked about, if you were listening to my podcast the other day, the win of I've been washing my face every single night and not just like, not doing that. Cause we can tend to do that and leave our makeup on and just like go to bed and I'm like washing my face every night. I'm like, Hey, I've been consistently doing that. That's a win. Let's go. Or with this podcast, I promised myself, I want to do the podcast this year. I've been doing it. Right. So what's small, one small thing that you or she's celebrate, maybe it's just getting up in the morning. Maybe it's saying three gratitudes. Maybe it's not looking at your phone or your screen time in the morning.
Number four, create that gratitude practice. Each morning and evening, I you to write down three things that you are grateful for, especially write this went down when you were feeling not grateful, when you're overwhelmed, when you're like, I don't have it yet. You could also even write the things that you're really wanting to achieve and write the gratitude for already having them. That's really setting your brain up for the intention of, it's already happened.
Like it's inevitable, but the thing that I want is gonna happen even if it hasn't happened right now. So yeah, the gratitude practice, really huge thing. It's so funny, because back in the day, I used to think how stupid that was. like, is this so stupid? I'm gonna break down my gratitude, like whatever. And it's really cool to see a lot of research on how it really does change the brain by doing that. And I think that's really, really cool. Number five.
Set some clear boundaries around your goals. So remind yourself that it's okay to move at your own pace, okay? There is no rush. It doesn't need to happen now. Write down your goals and the timeline that feels right for you, not what you think others expect. And a lot of times it's not what others expect, it's what you are expecting right now. You can move at your own pace. Things don't happen overnight. I know it's really hard for us to think that.
And that's okay. It doesn't need to happen tomorrow. I know we want the things now. We want everything to be fixed now. And our brain says, now, now, now. But it doesn't really, like maybe ask yourself for a second when you're thinking about those goals. You're like, ask yourself when you're in that anxiety, it needs to happen today. Like, does it actually? What's the rush? Why are we rushing? I know that tomorrow's not promised, but we can't rush those things. One small step at a time, celebrate it. Let's enjoy the process as we go.
Number six, journal through your thoughts. This is my favorite thing. we talk about this a lot, but it always comes up because it's so helpful. When you feel anxious about the future, I want you to write it out. Ask yourself, why am I feeling this way? What's the worst case scenario? How can I focus on what is actually within my control? And even a bigger shift, and we'll talk about this in another podcast that I'm super excited to walk through. What is in my control and what if?
We don't have it right now for a reason. What if everything is going just exactly as it's supposed to? What if? What if it's all going right? Right? Right? So as I've been navigating this shift in my life and business, I've been practicing these same tools. I've been reminding myself that it's okay to not have everything figured out right now. It's literally okay. No one has anything, everything figured out. Also, nobody really even knows what they're doing. Let's be real here.
I talked to some of the most successful people and I'm like, I don't feel like I know what I'm doing. They're like, I don't know what I'm doing either. I'm just trying my best. The steps I'm taking today are leading me to where I want to go. And even if I can't see the full picture yet, these stuck moments I feel are often exactly what I need to grow and to get to that next level. And when I slow down, I realize how much I've already accomplished.
And that fuels me to keep going step by step and day by day. And this should fuel you as well. You've accomplished so much. Don't forget that. There's no rush. Everything is happening right on time, right as it should. So if you've been feeling rushed, anxious or stuck in the future thinking, I want you to take a deep breath right now and remind yourself that you do not have to do it all right now. Or like a past coach used to tell me,
You can do it all and you're going to do it all, not right now. Focus on today, celebrate the wins and trust that the steps you're taking are in fact leading you to exactly where you need to go. And if this episode, if it resonates with you, I want you to share it with someone who really needs that reminder to slow down and stay present. And as always, I want you to keep asking yourself, what if it all goes right? What if it's already going right?
Until next time, I want you to take one step at a time, celebrate your progress, and reminder, you have got this.
