Angela Gargano (00:00)
Hey there and welcome back to What If It All Goes Right? The podcast where we cut through the noise, get real about what's holding us back and take action towards the life that we want. I'm your host Angela Gargano and today's episode is a big one. What you aren't changing, you are choosing. I you to let that sink in for just one second here. How often do we complain that things are not going our way?
that we want something better, different, whether it's in our fitness, our career, our relationships, our overall happiness, but then we literally do nothing about it. And I'm seriously guilty of this too. And I've realized that there are a few reasons why we stay stuck. Maybe it's fear of failure. What if I try and I fall flat on my face? Maybe it's fear of success. What if this actually works and everything changes? How scary is that? Maybe it's paralysis by just being overwhelmed. I don't even know where to start.
But here is the truth. At the end of the day, we have a choice. And that choice doesn't have to be dramatic. It can be small. But when we stay in the same place, you refuse to make change, you are choosing that reality. So today we're going to talk about how to step out of autopilot and start taking ownership of our choices one small action step at a time. So let's dive in.
I feel like this is like one of those moments where like your friends come up to you and they're just like, hello, what are you doing? I'm seeing you do the same thing over and over again. Like you're saying you want one thing, but you're doing this. And I literally had my friend do that to me. We went to this business workshop and we were discussing what we want our life to look like. And I was like, I my life to look like this. And she said, well, you're not doing anything that actually reflects that happening. And
my goodness, I was so happy she said that because it was like just the kick in the butt that I needed to be like, โ you're right. I'm not doing the stuff that I want to do. I keep complaining that I'm stuck here, but I'm not actually doing anything to get me anywhere closer to my goal. But let's be real. Our body and our brain love comfort. And even when something isn't working for us, we stay there because it's familiar.
And that toxic relationship. It's familiar that job you hate. It's familiar. Okay. Your brain isn't necessarily working against you. It's just trying to keep you safe and change is unknown and unknown feels super scary. But here's the thing. Just because something is comfortable doesn't mean it's actually right for you. I want to say that again. Just because something is comfortable for you does not mean it's actually right for you. And
I had this realization the other day in my business, I was feeling stuck. I was feeling frustrated. Like I wasn't feeling loving what I was doing anymore. And instead of pushing through or ignoring it, I sat down and I wrote out everything in my business that wasn't working for me. Everything that was holding me back. And then I asked myself, why am I choosing to keep things this way? And that's when it hit me that I had the power to change it.
I had control over my schedule, my offers, my approach, my energy, how I choose to run my business. But until I acknowledged that, I was choosing to stay stuck. So if you're feeling stuck, whether it's in your fitness, your career, or just in life in general, I want to give you some things that are helping me so it can help you and you can start shifting. Number one, I think that was so important for me was acknowledging that you have a choice.
So if you're constantly saying, have to do this, I can't change that. I want you to flip the script and said, saying, I'm choosing to this because this simple shift puts you back in control. Okay. You're constantly saying, Oh, I have to do this. Oh, I'm dreading this. Like take a moment and ask yourself why. Why can you change it? Can we flip the script? Do we have a choice? I could keep doing my business the way that I'm seeing all these other
business coaches and people with business people doing, but that doesn't necessarily mean it's right for me. Do I have to do it just because they're doing it that way? Or can I choose to take my And a long time ago, I remember my my dad had said this to me years ago. I can't remember what when it was. I just remember myself being in my old childhood of room right now. And I think I was really upset about the fact that I felt like I didn't fit in with some of the people in my school.
And he said something to me that was really powerful. He said, you're a leader, not a follower. You're a leader, not a follower. You don't have to do any of the other things that you don't want to do. You can choose to lead yourself. Number two, get real about what's not working. So just like I did, I wrote it down. What in your life, work or health is actually draining you.
And don't judge it, just be super honest. And when I had to sit down and write this list out of what wasn't working in my life, it was weird because it was things that I felt like I had to do. So for me, for my business, like everyone's doing right now in business, tons of business calls, like tons of sales calls. I personally just like dread them. Like I would get on the sales call and I'm just like, I don't want to get on a sales call.
Like I'm not gonna do like a consultation with somebody or something like that, but like sitting on a sales call and selling to somebody and trying to convince them that the program is right for them, that's just not my vibe. I wanna help them make empowering decisions that are gonna help them choose that for themselves. And where I thrived much better was doing, you know, the keynote speaking, being on big stages where I'm able to inspire large groups.
It was doing the workshops that I'm doing online where again, I'm able to really create this and cultivate this community. That is where I thrive. I do not thrive and I do not want to be sitting in my day to day on what my friends were doing, which is like five or six sales calls a day. It's just, I know you can make money from that, but you can also make money in other ways. You don't need to do it that way. So I had to sit down and choose and say to myself, that's not how I want to do it. And that's literally okay. I don't have to do it that way.
There's so many other ways you can do it and you can get and help impact so many people. It doesn't need to look like the way. So just really be honest with how you're feeling and what's not working. And I kept blaming myself and being like, I'm just not smart enough and I just can't figure this out. But that's not the truth. Sorry, you hear my dog playing with this toy right now. Of course, she's playing with it while I'm podcasting. You're going to play with the toy, right? We just went for literally like a two mile run and she's still crazy. Anyways, number three.
Identify the fear that's holding you back. So ask yourself, am I afraid of failing? Am I afraid of success? I afraid of just being overwhelmed? And once you know what's stopping you, you can address it head on. What is the fear? What if you don't do it that way anymore? I want you to take a second right now and say to yourself, what if I decide I take my power and I don't do it that way anymore? What is the worst case scenario?
What is the worst possible thing that has happened? What are you so afraid of? I guess for me, I was afraid of like, I'm never going to be able to hit a certain number in my business so that I can live my life, which is what I want to do. I want to be able to have a business that fits seamlessly into my life. And I'm down to work hard, but I want to be able to live. And I guess my fear was, you know, what if I can't figure it out? What if I do fail? Then what happens?
what is the case scenario? Number four, make one small change. So you don't have to do this whole overhaul of your life in one day and I think this is something that's really powerful to understand because I, and I don't mean to keep coming back to myself, but I've realized very much that I had this repeat thing where I definitely want things happening tomorrow and if my assistant is listening to this right now, she knows that. Like I'll come up with an idea and I'm like, I want to overhaul and change everything tomorrow and she'll sit back and be like, Angela.
We can do it all tomorrow. Like it doesn't work like that. So start with one thing that you can change and whether it's how you schedule your time, how you approach your workouts or even how you speak to yourself. I want you to change one small thing. One small thing. And for myself, what I've decided is as I'm shifting out of the way that I'm running my business is and shifting it into the way that feels good for me. And a reminder of how it feels good for me is I'm choosing each day to show up.
to the things that I get to do for that better part of my life. And I'm speaking to myself differently. I'm saying, wow, like I get to do this. Wow, I get to serve these amazing women and to help them with getting their first pull up. And I get to help these corporate leaders, which is super, super exciting. And instead of beating myself up about the mindset of like, I'm not doing it the way everyone else is doing it. I'm like, you know what? Again, I'm gonna do it my way. I'm gonna take my power back. So figure out that one small changes for you. If it's...
If it's for your workouts, don't try and overhaul your entire workout routine in one week. That is the biggest mistake I see all the time. Like, let's overhaul everything. Like, or not. Let's just maybe show up three days a week and go for 30 minutes. And transparently, like I'm only going to the gym three days a week. People were asking me like, what are you doing with your body? is it like that? I'm like literally just going through days a week. It's really not, not going up that many times. So approaching it in a different way and realizing that you can do it your way. You can do it your way.
I want you to repeat this until this becomes your new normal. So every change feels super uncomfortable at first, but the more you choose to step into something different, the more natural it's going to become. Soon, you're going to become it. It's already deep down inside of you what you want. And because you are picturing whatever it is this different life is in your mind, that means that it is possible. I don't mean to get all woo and spiritual, but I do. I'm a little woo. I'm a little woo. I'm not full woo. I'm like a little woo.
But it's gonna start to become supernatural for you and the reason why it is calling you and it's something in the world is not feeling right or not aligned is because there's a different way for you and it's gonna start to become more natural but it is gonna be uncomfortable at first and it's like I talk about my keynotes all the time. When one door closes another one opens but no one talks about the hallway in between. This is gonna be that in between is that hallway. It's that dark hallway.
and it's not comfortable and I feel like people always skip that. And it's so important to that. So I have a challenge for you. I want to try something today. I want you to grab a piece of paper. I want you to write one thing in your life that you've been complaining about or feeling super stuck in. And I now want you to ask yourself, am I willing to keep choosing this? Or am I ready to actually make a change? And if you are ready, which I know you are if you're listening to us, make a change, write down one small action set that you can take, just one.
Not tomorrow, not to do next week, but literally to do today. You can start doing something today. Because remember, what you aren't changing, you are choosing. And you deserve better than staying stuck in something that no longer is serving you, okay? So right, that's it for today. I'm your friend right now who's telling you to make some changes. And this was tough love episode, but sometimes we need that reminder.
that we are more in control than we think. episode resonated with you and Miss Pepper here with the squeaky noise, share it with someone who might need to hear this. And as always, I want you to keep asking yourself, what if it all goes right? What if it's already going right? And until next time, take action, make the choice to step into the life you actually want. You've got this and Pepper's clearly got this too. Pepper's like, I'm choosing to bother you during your podcast episode and you why?
Because I can.
