Angela Gargano (00:00)
Hey there and welcome back to What If It All Goes Right, the podcast where we talk about the real stuff, the struggles, the mindset shifts that help create a life that we love. I'm your host, Angela Gargano, and today's episode is a reminder that sometimes you just need some space. So if you're anything like me, you've probably had moments where you get so locked in.
on trying to figure something out and make it happen or get that next level and then you end up completely forcing it. And that was me just a few days ago. I was on a mission to clearly articulate what it is that I do, the transformations that I've been able to provide for thousands of women and leaders and athletes. And I wanted the perfect words, the perfect message. And I wanted it literally now. So what did I do? I trapped myself in my room.
With my computer, I barely ate, I refused to leave the house, and I literally obsessed over it. And do you know what happened? Nothing. No clarity, no breakthrough. I was just super frustrated and burnt out. And then something changed. I decided I'm going to give it some space. And that made all the difference. So today, we're going to talk about why stepping away is sometimes exactly what you need.
how our brains work when we try to force things in some practical ways to create space in your life so you can actually think clearly and move forward. So let's get to it. So I want to first off by saying, yes, I literally trapped myself in my room. I get like so obsessive with things. I just wanted to do it all now and I want to have it all figured out. Like I see the vision, I see where I want to go and I'm like, cool, I want this to happen tomorrow. And I know
that's not always possible. And while I'm really proud of myself for being a fast mover, like I'm gonna, if I say I'm gonna do something, if anyone on here knows this, I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna do it really fast, I'm gonna fail really fast if I fail. But sometimes what you actually need to do is step back from it so that you can move forward from it. It's like taking that slow moment, it's like that slowing down to speed up. But let's be real here, like we live in a culture of go, go, go, and if something isn't working,
our default is literally try harder. We'll stare at the screen longer. We'll beat ourselves up for not having the answers yet. We tell ourselves we can't take a break until we have it all figured out. But the truth is that your brain doesn't work like that. And when you force something, you actually activate your brain's stress response, making it harder to access that creativity, that problem solving, and that intuition. And there's a reason why some of the best ideas
literally come to you in the shower on a walk right before bed and when you're relaxed and that's because your brain needs space to process your information and when you stop assessing and giving yourself that room to breathe that clarity you're chasing has space actually to land. Okay, so I finally found clarity after days of grinding myself into the ground with no answers I finally said screw it I'm gonna need to step away.
And I spent the day doing things that I had like literally nothing to do with any kind of work that I'm doing right now. I went to this place called activate with my friend John. This is a super fun interactive game place and we had no phone. We just laughed. We didn't movement. We got ice cream and for a long walk, I hit the gym, hung out with my favorite person, Dane at noble Joe. Shout out Dane. If you're ever listening to this podcast and I actually ate and I got sleep and guess what?
Within a few days, the clarity I had been forcing was finally coming to me. And it was from conversations with friends, it was movement, it was just living. And I was able to not only articulate what I wanted to do, but also get clear on the kind of life that I wanted to build. And I realized that I had been trying so hard to find the answer that I wasn't giving myself the space to actually receive that answer. So when you step away, you allow yourself to shift from that survival mode
to being in that creative mode. When you're stressed, your brain is focusing on immediate threats. It's not focusing on the long-term solutions. Taking breaks calms your nervous system and allows you those new ideas to emerge. It's really hard for you to see the long-term solution, for you to see yourself acting as your highest when you're not in that.
I'm my highest self right now, where you're not like truly believing it because you're so stressed about and like holding on so tightly to what it is that you want. And you need to access that subconscious mind. So your subconscious behind the scenes and when you're not actively forcing it to you. So we talk about in another episode, I believe about fear and how fear isn't actually most of the time. Fear is actually a deep subconscious feeling that your body has deep down inside. And it's actually stories that your body is telling you.
So your subconscious mind is kind of like this behind the scene thing that you're not actually seeing. It's kind of like when you see a production happen in a big movie film and everyone's behind the scenes doing all these things, you don't actually see them, right? All you're seeing is the picture in front of you. And I you to ask yourself, have you ever had an idea that just of your head, out of nowhere, that is your subconscious at work. So what you need to do is you need to reconnect with your intuition.
And when you're forcing things, you're ignoring your gut angstings. You're giving yourself space to let you listen to what actually feels right. So, the subconscious mind a lot of times can give you lot of stories that are false. They're not real. They're just stories from something that might have happened in the past that don't actually align with right now. But when you don't force things and you give yourself some space, you're allowing to reconnect with that intuition.
It allows you to listen what you actually feels right. What does feel aligned for you? And I feel like that was a lot of mumble jumbo and hopefully that makes sense when you listen to this. But I want to teach you how to actually create space when you are stuck. So if you're in a place where you're feeling stuck and overwhelmed and like you're forcing something, here are some ways to create space and let the clarity come into you naturally. And this isn't always easy to do. So number one, I want you to literally step away from the problem.
Like fully, like just step the heck away from it. It doesn't need to be for like a whole week, but like shut the laptop, get the heck out of your room, get into a new environment and literally go somewhere that has nothing to do, like nothing to do with work. Reconnect with who you are. Reconnect with some of the things that you love and that make you feel excited. And if you can't remember those things, cause I know I have been in that place.
often where I'm like, wait, what do I even like again? Like I'm so absorbed with like the problem I need to solve or the work that I actually even forget who I am and what I like. Like someone will be like, what's your favorite music? And I don't even remember. Okay. So just go somewhere else, go for a walk, get off the phone and maybe even like look around. And I like to do this thing where like I'll look around and I'll even like call out colors that I see. I'll be like, that's green, that's yellow. Just to try and get out of my head and back into the present moment.
Move your body, go for a walk, hit the gym, dance in your kitchen. When you move, you're gonna shift your energies and the idea is going to flow. And a lot of times when you're in that state of sitting there forcing things, know I was sitting, I sit here and I'm like, oh, do I really need to drive my butt to the gym and go to this class? But I know how much better it is for me. So I force myself to go even if I'm late, but you always feel so much better. And it could just be a walk.
It doesn't need to be anything dramatic. It doesn't need to be like a two hour workout, just something to move your body, go for a walk, get out, and just really again, get back into your body again. Get back into your body again. Number three, do something that brings you joy. Hang out with a friend, go on a fun activity like the activity or the arcade I went to with John. Have ice cream to eat with yourself. Laughter and play literally rewire your brain to be more open to solutions. So.
Figure out what's that is fun that you like to do. Again, I keep forgetting sometimes like what fun is, because I'm like, I do feel like work is fun, but it's like, I get like obsessed with it. I get like a little obsessed with it. So what could be fun for you? What did you used to enjoy way back in the day? How can you schedule that into your life? four, get some sleep and proper nutrition. Like sleep isn't just rest. It's when your brain processes information. And if you're running on fumes, your ability to think clearly is already compromised.
So fuel your body like you would fuel your business. Fuel your body like you would help fuel if you're a mom, a busy mom in here that you would help fuel your kids. Like take a moment and make sure that you are taking care of yourself. And I was listening to a podcast the other day with an amazing CEO and founder. And the question was like, what is your secret to success? Like what is something that you feel like you'd want to tell somebody? And she said, just get your sleep. She said, get your sleep. No, nobody wins when you're not sleeping.
make sure you're getting some sleep and this is going to really help you to make better decisions to show up better and just feel better in general. Number five, talk with someone you trust. Sometimes just saying things out loud helps. Like you can literally just talk to yourself, but the right person can really reflect back to you what you might not be seeing in yourself. I am so grateful because I have a great group of girlfriends. I'm obsessed with my friend, like Marissa.
If you are friends with me and you know this, am obsessed with, well, Marisa. Marisa is someone super special that came into my life and I never thought I would have a close girlfriend like this ever. Really. I mean, I've had friends in my life that I felt this way for, but it's just like so elevated. And she's so awesome because she was like, Angela, if you ever need anything, she's like, you just call me. She's like, I don't care if it's a crazy thought. I don't care if it's just call me. I called her one day just like bawling my eyes out. like, I'm crying. Like, and then the next day, like it was, I just had my period.
But then she'll do the same for me and we just hold space for each other. We a lot of times don't try and give each other the answers. We're just there and that's so comforting and it's so relaxing to have somebody like that in your life. So see if you can find that person and if you just need to send me a message on Instagram, just send me a message, okay? I got you. But the bottom line is that that space is going to create this clarity, right? So if you're in a season of forcing it right now, I want you to ask yourself how...
have I actually given myself space to step away and think clearly? And the answer is no, then this is your sign to take a break. You don't have to figure it all today. I don't know where we got that in our heads. You don't have to force the answer. Sometimes you just need space and it's not a sign of failure, it's a sign of just trusting yourself because when you trust that things will come together, they usually do. And one of the women that works for me, I'm obsessed with her, I'm obsessed with everybody that I'm around.
Lolita, she always tells me, I told her one day, I'm like, wow, this like aha moment came when I was meditating. And she's like, yeah, she's like lot of that comes when you're in stillness, when you're giving yourself that space, when you're giving yourself that moment to meditate, to step away from it, to obsess over it.
And it's the same thing with manifesting as well, right? People think that manifesting and creating something epic in your life means creating the vision board, staring at it every single day and just like, oh, like I need that today and just be obsessing over it. But manifesting is actually stepping back, doing the action steps you need to do, taking some steps back and trusting that it is in fact already here. It's already gonna happen no matter what. It's inevitable that it's gonna happen. So giving yourself that space and trusting yourself and knowing that, hey, you know what?
I can give myself some stillness, that's not gonna stop me from getting to where I wanna go or what I wanna do any faster. So I know another short episode here, but that's what I got for you today. And if this episode, if it resonated with you, I want you to challenge yourself to take at least one intentional break today. Step away, breathe, get that clarity, let it come naturally. And as always, I want you to keep asking yourself, what if it all goes right? What if it's already going right?
And until next time, trust the process, take space when you need it and watch how everything starts to flow again. You've got this.
