Angela Gargano (00:00)
Hey there and welcome back to What If It All Goes Right? This is the podcast where we explore practical strategies to help you live a more fulfilling, balanced and powerful life. I'm your host, Angela Gargano, and today we're gonna be talking about something that has been a game changer for me. And this has been becoming and getting lighter. And no, I'm not talking about losing weight, I'm talking about shedding stress. I'm talking about the mental and emotional weight, the pressure.
we put on ourselves and the energy that drains us and holds us back from feeling truly aligned and at ease and alive. And this realization really hit me hard recently after a few weeks of multiple women coming up to me just saying, Angela, you look different. Like you look lighter. And they weren't talking about physical appearance. They were sensing that shift in my energy. They were feeling that something about me had changed and I wasn't carrying the same weight of stress, tension or pressure.
that I once was and I realized that they were right. And how did this shift happen? And more importantly, how can you make that shift happen in your own life? That's exactly what we're gonna break it down today. Yay, so excited to have you all here on the podcast. And this is a very interesting podcast we're gonna walk through today because this sense of feeling lighter, this sense of
letting go of things. think so many times and so often we always want to do more things and more things and more things. And we start to realize that a lot of what we need to do is let go of some things that are not serving us any longer, which can be very, very hard to do. I am still struggling with really letting go of certain things that I felt like I had to do that I needed to do and really stepping into this more aligned place. And if you had talked to me or met me a few months ago, you would have seen someone who looked
like they had it all together, but I was carrying so much weight internally, okay? And that stress of wanting to build the perfect business, constantly feeling like I needed to do more, pushing every single outcome to happen exactly the way I envisioned, I was gripping onto control so tightly and it was literally suffocating. And then something changed. I started letting go and I started asking myself, what if I stopped forcing things?
What if I just allowed things to unfold? What if I released the pressure, the expectations, the energy draining task, and instead focus on what actually made me feel good? And that was the moment that everything shifted and began shifting. And I want to take you through the exact steps that I took, real tangible, actionable steps that made a difference in my life with this, because if I can make this shift, you literally can do the same exact thing. So,
Let's go back into some storytelling mode. A few months ago, I was launching something in my business and I wanted to succeed. It just succeed so badly. And I was clinging to this idea that if I just pushed harder, force it to happen, it would magically all into fall into place. But the more I started to force this thing, the more resistance I created. It really felt heavy. It felt frustrating. And honestly, it was sucking the joy of what I was doing out of me. So I made the decision. I told myself,
I'm going to release this. I'm going to trust that what's actually meant for me will not pass me. I will do my best, but I'm not going to force it. I'm going to allow it. It's that idea of I'm not going to chase. I'm going to attract. And guess what? Once I released that death grip on the outcome, things started flowing. The right people came into my life. The opportunities I've been chasing suddenly started coming to me. So here's what I want you to try with this attempt of
trying to get later, I don't wanna say attempt, I wanna say like the actually you're gonna get later. So for action steps number one, number one is practicing acceptance. Like recognizing that while you can set goals and take action, the outcome isn't always within your control. And learning to enjoy the process instead of obsessing over the destination. How often do we obsess over the destination?
How often do we cling on to saying, I have to do that thing? And this happens to a lot of the women, especially who are in my pull-up program, right? They come in, we've helped women get their pull-up in less than 12 weeks, but they're so clinging on and obsessed with that outcome that in 12 weeks, I have to do this, it has to happen. And they're gripping onto it so tightly. And what I recognized was that when women did that and they were so obsessive over it, it actually didn't come in 12 weeks. And it had to do with that cling, with clinging onto that. And instead of,
taking a deep breath, really breaking down each piece of the process and enjoying the journey along the way. And I know that is not easy. And it's not easy to have that acceptance. It's not easy to let go of control, especially as people, as high achievers who want to have that control at all times. But when you can release...
that idea of the outcome, it's gonna come to you 10 times faster. And this goes with anything again. Like this goes with the pull-up, this goes with your own sales, right? And you're trying to make that sale and you're like clinging on to so much the outcome of it instead of just taking a breath and really recognizing and talking to the people to make sure that whatever it is that you are selling is the perfect fit for them and really being there and in that moment, it's really important to do those things. yeah, so really practicing that acceptance. It's just been so hard, especially for me because
I failed so many times. I failed so, so many times. There's been so many launches where I'm like, I want this to happen. I want this to happen. the pressure that I put on myself every single time had just made it be pushed away from me even more. So really practicing that acceptance and recognizing that while you can set that goal and you're going to take that action, sometimes that outcome isn't always within your control. And that is okay. Because at the end of the day, what can we control?
we can control how we react to that, how we respond to that, how we adapt to that and shift to that thing. And most of the time, when you have that acceptance, you also tend to realize that whatever was meant to come for you, whatever you thought you really wanted, actually, maybe that wasn't the thing that was supposed to come. Maybe there was supposed to be something better. Maybe there was an opportunity that you needed to grow before you had that thing, right?
I clung so heavily onto getting this cover of this magazine, 2016. I sent in a bunch of messages to people and I was like, I wanna be on the cover of the magazine, I wanna be on the cover of the magazine. And I kept clung on to this so hard for years until finally I let go and I'm like, you know what, maybe I'm just not gonna get the cover and it's fine. I just focused on, you know, really coming into my body, coming back for my ACL tear. And believe it or not, in 2021, I got a call finally saying, hey, Angela, we have a cover opportunity for you. I was literally.
I could not believe it. came at the best time and it's because I allowed myself to let go and it's because I allowed myself to accept that, hey, you know what? It's okay if like I don't have this cover right now that that was able to happen. Number two, daily mindfulness check-in. So this is really important. Taking a few minutes every day to ask yourself, what am I gripping onto so tightly and what can I release today? What am I gripping onto too tightly and what can I release today?
Now this is really, really powerful to just ask yourself to gain that awareness again with yourself. I think a lot of times you can just be so in it that it's really hard maybe to pause and do this and to ask yourself these questions. But when you do and you're able to take a moment to zoom out, it's a game changer. So when you're asking yourself these mindfulness check-ins, maybe like go for a walk, get away from what you're doing to really check in with yourself, to really see what it is that you can release today. Number three.
Setting intentions and not expectations. So instead of saying, must achieve this goal exactly this way, I want you to shift that to, intend to move towards this goal and I'm open to however it unfolds. Right? If you're working towards that goal, if you're doing the best that you can, if you're giving yourself, if you only have 30 % to give and you're giving 30%, you are giving a hundred percent.
leaving room for that adaptivity, leaving room for the space for it to unfold in maybe a different way you never even thought was going to be possible. Now this simple shift is a mindset alone and it will take so much weight off your shoulders. So I'm hoping that helped for you. Now step two in this, so we just talked about all the letting go of forcing the outcome. Now I want to talk to you about eliminating these energy drainers. And again, this has been very, very hard for me.
to eliminate the energy drainers and to also really take a moment and recognize what actually is draining my energy, because I honestly wasn't fully sure. So another huge shift for me was realizing how much I was holding onto things that were just completely draining me, both in my business and in my personal life. And sometimes we think the answer is to, again, add more, do more. If I just do more for this, it's going to be better. But more strategies, more work, more hustle isn't really actually.
the answer most of the time. The real answer is typically in, let's take some things away.
Let's simplify. What feels good? What is draining me? So I sat down and I made a list of literally everything I was doing in my life, tasks, commitments, relationships, and even small habits. And I asked myself, does this energize me or does this drain me? And this is actually a really interesting story I'm gonna tell you, but my friend, April, when I was in a relationship that was not serving me, and I pretty much already knew the relationship wasn't serving me.
but she asked me to do something that was really powerful and maybe you can do this as well and you can do this not only for a relationship but you can also do this for just a task that you might have. So I measured my energy before I went into it and I put it on a piece of paper, scale of one to 10, being the best. And then when I got done hanging out with that person for the relationship or again maybe it's doing that task, I rated myself again. And it was so clear, especially with my relationship, that I was going in
Feeling like a 10, feeling like myself, like da, da, da, and then leaving with like a four energy. And I was like, ooh, this is draining me, right? And just really understanding like, why is this draining me? Why isn't this feeling good? Is it just because I just don't wanna do it? Is it the way I'm doing it? Is it the actual person that I'm with, whatever it might be, really taking that moment to identify what that looks like for you? And I was literally shocked by like how doing this was simply just a lot of the things were out of obligation, out of habit.
or maybe the fear of just maybe letting go of something. So what I'd love for you to do as an action step is I want you to conduct what we like to call an energy audit, okay? I want you to write down everything you do in a day or a week, and I you to put a check mark next to it on what energizes you and an X on what drains you. Now I know realistically sometimes you can't get rid of some of these things, but maybe we can look at them a little bit differently. Maybe we can take a moment to see something that is draining us.
and ask ourselves, know, why is it draining us? What is the story I have about this one thing? I know I have to do it. If you do have to do it, how can I look at this differently? So it instead becomes something that energizes me. Delegate, delete, or adjust. This has been very hard for me. I'm in a moment right now where I'm taking my business and I'm leaning it. I'm making it lean. I'm getting rid of things. I'm trying to delegate everything I need because I see this vision for myself. I see this vision of myself of
traveling the world, speaking on stages, doing this podcast all the time, and the business I have now is not gonna allow me to do that. It needs so much of my care and attention. So I'm like, how can I make this as lean as possible? How can I really create this so it serves me, it serves my people, it's high quality, but it's not just taking over my entire life. So if something is draining you and you don't have to do it, I want you to let it go. Delegate it if you need to. And if you must do it, see if you can adjust.
how you do it. Maybe it's when you do it, the time of day you do it, all those different things. What I also realized for myself is if I do the stuff that energizes me first before I actually get into those other tasks that maybe are draining me, and that could be work stuff that really excites me, or that could be going for a workout or a walk or something, when I have that energy before, and I do that before, then when I go to do the other thing, I'm like, you know what? I filled my cup a lot now. I'm going to do this thing.
Next piece is setting the boundaries of protect your energy if something doesn't align with your values or your well-being It's literally totally fine to say no It's okay to say no And someone told me this the other day and I thought it was super powerful I was allowing the energy of certain somebody to drain me and They're like, why are you giving that person so much power?
Just say no, just walk away. Who cares what the person says? Set the boundary. Who cares? At end of the day, what matters more is you.
So when I did this, it was like exhaling for the first time in a long time, and that weight started to finally lift off my shoulders immediately. Step three, I want you to create intentional space, intentional space. So I used to think that if I worked harder, I'd find the answers. But sometimes the best thing you can do is actually take a step back. And I did a whole podcast on this about giving something space, about taking that step back.
And over one week in particular, was obsessing over figuring out something in my business. I wasn't sleeping. I was glued to the computer. I literally felt so stuck, so stuck on this thing. really saw that there was like, I'm like, there's no way out of this. Like I'm not, it's not okay. And then I decided to do something radical. I walked away from it. I went outside. I went to a game night with my friends. I took a walk with my dog Pepper and I completely just disconnected from the entire thing. And guess what? After taking that space, the answers I had been forcing,
They started to come to me because I allowed to give it some time for some space, which is totally okay. You can give it space. So action steps, schedule those breaks, put those breaks in your calendar, just like meeting and treat them as that non-negotiable. Maybe do a digital detox and maybe step away from your screens. That's something that's been adding to some ruminations of whatever it is that you're trying to achieve right now. Even if it's just for an hour, just let your brain breathe and just be present when you can rest and you can actually be within the present moment.
and actually rest, not multitask, not sneaky work, not trying to be a productive resting, but creating intentional space allows new ideas. It allows new opportunities and inspiration to flow naturally. And you don't need to think that space needs to be like a week or two. It could just be like an hour throughout your day, right? Whatever is that you need, give yourself that space. A lot of times the answers are in that space that you're maybe not giving it right now. Maybe you're again, sitting there suffocating the issue right now. It's going to be really hard to
zoom out and see the whole big picture when you're so stuck in it.
So what happened when I did all this? I started to feel lighter. My stress levels dropped. I had more energy. And ironically, the things I to start happening, they started happening faster and easier. Because when you're not gripping onto life so tightly, you're opening yourself up to receiving, which is so powerful.
So your final action steps for this week, I want you to check in with yourself. What is adding weight to you right now? What is making you feel lighter? And adjust. Celebrate the small wins. Notice and acknowledge when you feel lighter. Reinforce that habit. Yes, more of this, more of this. And stay open to change because this is a process. And we're going to always keep evolving, always. And we're going to keep adjusting. There's going to be seasons for all different things.
And here's the truth, feeling lighter isn't about avoiding challenges. It's about changing how we respond to them. It's about releasing control, letting go of what doesn't serve us and making space for what truly does. So I'm going to challenge you to start today to pick one thing to release, to breathe and to see how it changes everything. And if this episode resonated with you, I want you to share this with someone who needs to hear this. And as always, keep asking yourself.
What if it all goes right? What if it's already going right? And until next time, release, breathe, and trust. You've got this.
