Angela Gargano (00:00)
Hey there and welcome back to What If It All Goes Right? The podcast where we explore these strategies to elevate your mindset, embrace your full potential. I'm your host Angela Gargano and today we're diving into a topic that hits so close to home. Transforming the way we talk about ourselves to ourselves. Embracing our achievements and truly stepping into our confidence. So this isn't just about positive thinking, it's about rewiring how we see ourselves.
how we own our success and how we stop playing small in a world that benefits when we step up and we shine. So let's talk about it and why we minimize our wins and why we downplay our impact and how we can change that and we can literally start changing that today. So I wanna share a personal moment that really hit hard a few weeks ago as I was speaking event, sitting on a panel and before I started, I stood up to talk
a bit about the messaging and the things that I'm doing in order to really find to my speaking to make it even better. And I shared some key takeaways. I shared a bit about, you know, the problem I solve for people. And then I sat back down and it wasn't until after I finished speaking that my friend literally pulled me aside. Actually, that's a lie. He didn't just pull me aside. He literally grabbed the mic from somebody and was like, Angela, he literally stood up and he said, Angela, like you didn't say anything about what you achieved.
Like I didn't say anything about me helping thousands of women get their first pull up. I didn't say anything about me being a six time American Ninja Warrior, about me being Miss Fitness America, right? And it feels even weird sometimes to even say all those things. And he said, Angela, why didn't you mention anything about your own journey? Why didn't you talk about how you've helped thousands of women get their first pull up? Or the fact that you competed on American Ninja Warrior six times. Or the fact that you've been on three fitness magazine covers. He's like, you're sitting here like a regular attendee.
but you've done things that 99 % of people in this room have not done. And I sat there for a second and I realized he was right. I completely minimize everything that I've done. And I didn't bring up my own hard work, my journey, my own impact. And for what? What was I afraid of? Was I afraid of sounding like I was too much?
Was I afraid of making others uncomfortable? I realized right now and right then how much I am someone who literally teaches confidence and resilience for a living and was still downplaying my own accomplishments. And I know I'm not alone in this. So today I want to break this pattern for all of us. literally going to break it today. So here's the thing.
The way we talk about ourselves, really does matter, okay? Not just for how others see us, but for how we see ourselves. and when we use minimizing language, we unintentionally strip power away from our achievements. So let's talk about some of the most common ways we shrink ourselves and how we can just stop. doing that right now, okay?
So number one, using this language, I just, adjust. So just for example, I just managed to complete the project on time. If we can reframe that and reword that to, I successfully completed the project on time, the word just really minimizes your effort. It makes it sound like you accomplished on was barely a success. When in reality, you did that, own it.
I didn't just just complete the project. I crushed that project. I finished it successfully. Number two, I only ran a 5k, not a marathon. Reframed, I ran a 5k.
Why do we feel the need to compare our success to something bigger? Running a 5K is huge. How many people have run a 5K? Period. Stop making it sound less than. I've even said, like, I've only been on American Ninja Warrior six times. Only? Six times? That's a long time. I think, or I guess. Example, I think I can handle this task.
I want you to reframe that to, I can handle these tasks. I can. And I want you to like, I think or I guess. It introduces doubt in your own capabilities. And you know you can do something. And you need to say it like you mean it. Let's not minimize it. Maybe I'm not sure. Example, I'm not sure, but I think we met our targets.
Let's get rid of the I'm not sure part. We've met our targets. When you start stating the fact, saying it confidently, owning the outcome, this might be a silly idea is another great one. Example, this might be a silly idea, but what if we tried a new marketing strategy? Reframing, I have a new marketing strategy and we should try it. So stop apologizing for your ideas before you even share them.
be present with them.
and present them with confidence. Okay? Let's stop downplaying how awesome we are what we can do. I think where I started some of that was because I wanted to feel more humble. I was surrounded by some great athletes and they were very humble and I like the idea of being humble, right? But it doesn't mean you need to downplay what you've done. It doesn't mean you need to not talk about what you've done, right? Because what you've done is absolutely incredible.
And I'm not even saying, you know, for me, it's, ⁓ she's a six-time American Enjoyer. I'm sure you've done some amazing epic things. If any of you on here have kids, you're not just a mom, you're a freaking badass, okay?
Because I personally can never pressure myself doing all the things that you do.
So now we identified how we shrink ourselves, how we, how do we start to reverse that? Like first step is awareness, is understanding that we're using some of the language that we went over above, but how do we start building language patterns that actually empower us and lift us up? And here are some key things that you can do and that you can start with today. So number one is obviously increasing the awareness. So pay attention to the words you're using daily, reflect on how your language choices affect your confidence.
and catch yourself when you say minimizing phrases and correct them in real time. I've literally been doing this thing lately where I've actually been talking to myself. I'm like, Angela, I'm literally Angela. Like literally talking to myself, Angela, Angela. What do no. I correct it right there and right then. And eventually it will become, it will happen, right? It will just be second nature. Practice those positive affirmations. So every morning, maybe say three things you're proud of. Writing down accomplishments from the past, the week, the month. Start using statements like I'm capable.
I'm strong, I'm worthy. I practice those positive affirmations right now.
Say them out loud. Look in the mirror when you're saying them. Look in your own eyes. It sounds silly, it sounds stupid and like woo woo. It literally works. Remember, seek feedback from trusted people. So surround yourself with people who will call you out when you shrink yourself, just like my friend did when he stood up in the audience. He was like, Angela, no. And ask for honest feedback and let them remind you how incredible that you are. We have so many, I'm so grateful to have so many incredible women who remind me.
when I'm having moments where I'm like, ⁓ I don't feel like I'm good enough or I'm not doing enough things. They just remind me of how capable and how awesome I am. And having those people around you is really powerful and really helpful. Celebrate your achievements. Say your wins out loud, even the small ones. Don't feel awkward about it, say it. Share them with people who want to celebrate you. Remember, confidence is an arrogance. It's respect. It's self-respect.
And a fun way to implement this is kind of like what you can do with like a swear jar, right? You can use a language jar. And every time you catch yourself using minimizing language, you put a coin in a jar. I don't know if we have coins now anymore. We might need to do like something else. And at the end of the month, use that collected funds to treat yourself to something good. This turns the breaking habit into something fun, into something tangible.
Because every time that you catch yourself saying it, you're going to reverse it. And each time you do that, it's going to all of a sudden, it's going to wind up sticking. And we're going to stop downplaying ourselves and with the amazing stuff that we have done. And again, we do this all too often. And right here, right now, let's make a pact that we're no longer going to do that anymore. We're not going to minimize what we've done.
We're not going to only look at this next end destination we want to go to. We're going be so happy. Well, I'm proud of what we did right here. And I want to leave you with this today. The way you speak about yourself sets the tone for everything in your life. Everything in your life. Okay. How you do one thing, how you speak to yourself, how you do one thing is how you do everything. So if you downplay your achievements, the world will follow suit. You're putting that out into the universe. You're telling the universe that it's okay to be like, ⁓ it's, can keep downplaying me.
But if you own your power, if you step into your confidence, the world will rise to meet you at the level that you're at. And I challenge you this month, to speak about yourself like you would your best friend. No more just, no more only, no more hiding your greatness. And one final action step, I want you to tell a friend right now something amazing that you've done recently. I know it's gonna seem awkward, it's gonna seem weird, just do it right now.
Just message somebody.
and be like, this week I did this, this week I did that. For me, for a while, I like, this week I put makeup on every single day. That was like such a win for me. Because I wanted to make myself look good and confident each day. Say it out loud, say it with confidence, and then own that feeling, own it. And if this episode resonated with you, I want you to share it with someone who this message. And as always, I want you to keep asking yourself, what if it all goes right? What if it's already going right?
Until next time, speak kindly to yourself, celebrate your wins, and remember, you are powerful beyond measure.
