Angela Gargano (00:00)
You can't win something you are not participating in. So if you're sitting on the sideline right now and you're waiting to come in,
If you feel like the game feels rigid or confusing, you're too far gone for you to catch up, that is still a choice. That is a choice. And that choice guarantees the outcome that you're afraid of, that you are gonna fail. So if you wanna win, if you wanna get in the best shape of your life, if you wanna start the business, do the podcast, you gotta be in the game. Stop stalling. People who are in the game are literally just taking action.
Welcome back to What If It All Goes Right. I'm your host, Angela Gargano, and today is a little bit different because it is my birthday episode. That's right, June 1st. I'm 36 years old and I genuinely debated whether to do a regular episode or actually talk about this year because this year has been a lot and there's a lot behind the scenes that maybe you haven't seen and I wanna get really honest with you today.
Maybe more than usual because I think the version of me sitting here right now recording this is very different from the version of me who turned 35 last year.
And this is in a really real way, like a very messy way. And I actually really want to talk about it because I'm actually, I actually look back on my last year's birthday and I'm like, wow, like things have changed so much.
And the thing was like for my last birthday, last year I was honestly unwell. Like I was really upset because I wanted to plan this whole kind of thing for my birthday and I felt like I didn't really have anybody and I felt like really lost and really depressed. I really didn't know if there was like a way out of any of the things that I felt like I was in. I was depressed. My business was in this weird, messy, middle, hallway in between moment.
and I was really throwing a lot at the wall for speaking and nothing was landing right away. I wanted instant success with my speaking. I didn't realize how much of a long-term thing it was. It was tough. I remember going to therapy because I was feeling so unwell and I felt like I didn't have anyone to talk to.
every single week, kind of talking about where I was at, and at one point the doctor suggested, like, you maybe we put you on, like, an antidepressant, sometimes that kind of helps, and I was just like, I really didn't want to do that, I wanted to see if there was another way. So I asked him, like, is there another way that I can get through this messy middle part without any kind of medication or whatever it might be? And he said something so crazy to me, he was like, what if you just go and try and,
do things that you want to enjoy. Because I put so much pressure on myself for my business and my life and my achievements that I was forgetting about just like life in general, right? And I think that it's really important when you think about that. I mean that was a huge significant change. We'll talk about when I go through the 36 things I've learned in 36 years and why that's really significantly helped. But if I was to look back at that girl a year ago and just tell her like hey, just keep sticking through it like you have been.
I that would have been powerful. So I wanna say that to you here as well. If you're having a year, there's so much that can change for you in a year. And when we go through these 36 things I've learned in 36 years, I want you to keep going. Just keep moving forward. Know that you can have different seasons of life and you'll be able to get out on the other side. So today, like I said, I'm gonna do 36 things that I've learned in 36 years. And some of these things are learning things that I learned a long time ago and I keep relearning.
and coming back to, and some of the things are things that I've learned specifically, like the hard way. Some of the things are going to sound simple, and some of them are gonna sound a little weird, and I don't really care, because I just wanna be real with you here today, and I think that the world is just wanting more real shit. I'm just gonna curse. The world is just wanting more real, real shit. And my hope is that you take maybe one thing from this, like one little nugget, and you just run with it, and hopefully it changes your trajectory of your life. But before I get into this, quick note is,
I do something every single year. ⁓ This only happens on my birthday. I do do a birthday week sale ⁓ for my programs. Everyone's always like, how can I support you? I'm like, the only way I really want support from anybody is to share my content or join in on a program and I want you to see success. That's truly what I want for you. So for the birthday sale, it only runs for 48 hours. If you're listening to this beyond the 48 hours, I'm sorry. ⁓ But you're gonna go to angela-gargano.com slash birthday.
And I have programs for 36 % off, which is more than I ever do. So dive in there, get the birthday gift, and I really hope that you enjoy them and it helps you with your life. So go for it. Okay, are we ready? 36 things that I've learned in 36 years. Ah, here we go.
The first one's gonna sound depressing, but no one is coming to save you. And once you really get that, it's not depressing, it's freeing, right? It really changes everything because when you stop waiting, you start moving, right? Nobody's coming to save you. No one's coming to pick you off of the ground, right? And for me, this really landed when, yeah, when I was feeling really depressed and I realized there was not anybody around me who was gonna come save me or who was gonna do the work for me to figure out what I needed to do next.
there's only people around that might give you some tips and tricks and stuff, but they're not gonna come save you and do it for you. So once you start to realize that, you can take the control back of your life, which is exactly what I did. I decided to just take control and move forward, and I'm so glad that I did and I got out on this other side. Number two, everyone is mostly just thinking about themselves, and that's also okay, right? Most of the time when you think someone is judging you or analyzing you in your every move, they're just not. They're thinking about their own stuff.
They had their own little world that they were in, which is kind of wild, right? And this used to stress me out so much because I used to always think about what other people were thinking about me. They would be, I would think like, my goodness, do they, shut down my business, they're gonna think I'm so stupid, like, because I reshaped a lot of my businesses like that. Like, they're gonna think I'm so stupid or whatever it might be. There was a guy that I was dating and.
when I was in massive amounts of debt, all I just kept thinking was like, oh my goodness, I have like the debt on my forehead and he probably just thinks I'm so stupid and like why couldn't I figure it out or whatever it might be. But the truth of the matter is everyone's going through their own shit. Everyone's going through their own shit and everyone's just trying to figure it out. And they're really focused on what it is that they are trying to do and that's okay. Once you realize that, I think it changes a lot and it relieves a lot of pressure you might have on yourself from thinking that everyone's thinking about you. Or when I was sending,
cold emails for my speaking and thinking that I was annoying the people that I was emailing. I'm like, oh my goodness, they probably read that email. We're like, what is wrong with her? It's so weird. But they probably were just living their life and answering emails. Number three, don't let people who aren't where you want to be shape your decisions. Don't let people who aren't where you want to be shape your decision. This was a huge one for this year for me. I wasted so much energy asking for opinions from people who had never done the thing I was trying to do or wasn't ever going to be there.
didn't see the level that I saw. And it's not that their opinions don't matter, it's that they literally don't have the information, right? And maybe they're putting some of their fears on me. So be careful who you let in the room when you're making these decisions, right? You wanna be around people who are at the same trajectory or trying to get to the trajectory you are, not people who are still sitting where they were before and working at a scarcity and blah, blah, like, do not let people who are not where you wanna be make the decisions for you.
they're gonna give you the wrong answer. You need to take control of it.
And I feel like with this one, know, I had so many people tell me like, don't do it this way with your business, don't go just all in on speaking, whatever it might be, and the truth of the matter was they were not where I wanted to be anyway, so I can't let their opinions move me forward. And that's okay. And that was a really hard lesson to learn. Number four, be a leader. And being a leader means making a decision.
even if it's the wrong decision. I think so many of us are waiting for certainty before we commit to something. We're waiting for this more sophisticated version of ourselves, but that just leaves you paralyzed. It leaves you paralyzed and not moving forward at all. And at some point you just have to pick something. You have to stop questioning all the different things and knowing that you can adjust as you go. You can't adjust when you don't move anywhere, right? So just making the decision.
Even if it's the wrong decision, it's still the right decision, it's still gonna get you to move forward faster, because you're gonna learn quicker that it wasn't the right decision. Or you're learn a lesson before. But you have to just make the damn decision. When you're sitting there indecisive, I don't know, wanna do this, whatever, just freakin' do it. Just go all in, while I'm being really raw today. Just go all in on it, okay? And even if it's the wrong decision, you just need to make one, okay? Make one. Stop sitting there, stop whatever. Just make a decision and commit to it.
Number five, you have a voice, use it. You can decide one day to just be okay with things. You can decide to say something.
Both of those are choices. Maybe one's a little bit quieter. You can decide one day that everything's fine. There was a moment where I woke up this year and I was like, you know what, I decide today that I'm not going to be depressed anymore. I just decided. I just decided.
there was someone who I was really upset with ⁓ and I could choose to still be obsessed with them and try and talk it out or whatever or I was like, I just decided it's fine, I forgive them, it's fine.
So you can decide to just be okay with things.
even if it's loud or even it's quiet. You have a voice, use it for yourself.
Because you can't hold other people to your expectations of them. So many people have their own path and I think that I unintentionally was having expectations for how I wanted certain people to show up for me. And that's not fair on them because I put this expectation on them that they didn't even know that had. They're running their own thing, their own life. There's so many things that I don't see outside, some of that every day, right? Maybe they had these dreams that I didn't even know about.
So when I stopped expecting people to show up the way I would show up, because I show up a lot, I show up fully, like if you are a part of my circle in my life, I will go all in on you, I got less disappointed and a lot more clear about who was actually in my corner when this happened.
You can't be like, I expect you to show up this way. Maybe that's not how they show up. And for me, like I said, I go on to people. It also allowed me to navigate and move forward and be like, okay, who do I put this next level of energy and power into, right? If they don't show up the way that I would love for them to show up, again, which is okay.
But I started to get way less disappointed when I started doing that. Seven, dogs are genuinely one of the best things in life. Okay, I've had my Pepper Girl now for three years. She is the best, that is the lesson. Dogs are just amazing. When I'm in this park and they're just genuinely happy or I was telling a friend of the dog park the other day, just how loyal dogs are. I was out in Austin and sometimes there's homeless people on the street and.
you see the homeless person there with their big sign and their dog laying next to them. the ones that I saw, the dogs were very much taken care of. But the fact that that dog is so loyal to that person and probably brings and provides so much love that he's maybe never had before, they're really just... My dog's so cute right now. just looking at it. She's just perfect. She's just perfect. She makes me so happy every morning. Number eight, emo music is medicine.
Never stop listening to it. I don't care what anyone thinks about my playlist. Some songs just live deep within you. I think I forgot, and this is part of as I was coming back to just living life again and just being joyful and enjoying things, I forgot because I was so serious on things, things I really enjoyed, one of them being emo music. And sometimes there's these songs that bring you back to these certain moments. There's actually a scientific thing on that as well. But...
For me, for example, this is not emo, but Thunder from Imagine Dragons, I put that on and for some reason I remember right away being in my car, coming back from my ACL comeback and deciding that I was gonna make this happen. ⁓ Or for my emo songs, I just remember singing my heart out to the emo songs like Fallout Boy or whatever it might be, or Dashboard Conventional, Vindicated, I was selfish, I was wrong, and just singing my heart out. And I go to emo shows here and all the time with a band called Yall Out Boy.
And there's something about going back and getting that medicine and that joy that up levels so many other areas of your life. And it's funny, because emo music's supposed to be like sad music, but it just like makes me so happy. So maybe whatever that is for you. And I kept trying to get into this whole like EDM thing, because people here are awesome. There's some EDM music I like, but it just doesn't bring me the joy that a good emo sing along song goes with, or a good like 90s song goes to. Nine.
Talking to yourself out loud is one of the most underrated tools that nobody talks about, like full on therapy vibes. I do it in the car, I do it in the walks, I do it in a two hour drive back from Houston ⁓ that I just did recently and it genuinely helped me work out so many things that have been stuck on for weeks. Just literally talking to yourself out loud. It's kind of like when you talk to a friend but you're talking to yourself. Just say it out loud, because sometimes it sounds a little bit different in your head, so saying it out loud is gonna help move you forward through whatever it is that you're going through.
10, things don't take as long as you think, especially the things you keep stalling on. Things don't take as long as you think, especially the things you keep stalling on. There's this thing that I saw on Instagram, was this woman, and she quotes, I don't remember who it was, but it was, how long does it actually take? That thing that you've been sitting there, maybe it's like paying your tax, or maybe it's a, I'm trying to think of some of the other things that I was stalling on doing. Making that phone call, a lot of times it's adulting things I never wanna do.
And I'm like, this is gonna take so long, I don't wanna do it. And then you go and do the thing and it literally took you like 30 minutes and you realize that the energy that you worked up in your head about how long this thing was gonna take was just ridiculous. So a lot of times some of the things don't take as long as you actually think they're gonna take. I've actually seen some people do things where they do like admin nights too where it's a certain task that they feel like it's gonna take forever and they've been stalling, they all come together and everyone just like does it. So I thought that was actually kind of a really cool thing. So yeah.
It doesn't really take as long as you think, a lot of times. Working out, for example, ⁓ people think you need to do like two hour workout every single day and they think it's gonna take up like half of their life. If you actually do the math with that, and I talk about it in my keynotes, there's 168 hours in the week and if you just work out for 30 minutes, five days a week, that's like 2.5 hours of your week, it's actually not as long as you think. You're just working yourself up in your head so much that you just keep avoiding it and it's absolutely taking you longer. So ask yourself, like how long does it actually take?
You know? Eleven, you can break your generational patterns and choose your own path. And this one was really big, right? And I'm still working on this, but you're not required to repeat what has been handed to you in your life. You can decide what to carry forward and what stops with you, right? I think that for all, for all people, a lot of times they blame their parents for like being a certain way for things happening. And I don't think that anyone should blame their parents for anything.
I think that their parents, for me at least, I know my parents, they did the best they possibly could. they, if I think about where they grew up and the things that they've gone through, they did really the next best thing here. ⁓ And they created a next piece for the generation forward. And the same, I get the opportunity to do that as well. I get to break any generational patterns. I get to break things that maybe they,
they thought were going to work like having like normal jobs and stuff like that and become an entrepreneur, right? I get to do that. I get to move forward and show that you can have healthy relationships with your families and stuff like that. I get to do that. anyways, I'm putting specific boundaries down and stuff like that, but you can break your generational patterns and choose your own path. You get to do that, right?
And I know it's tough and I know everyone has a different situation and you don't agree fully with me, but I really do think that like you can break those things and it's not easy, but it can happen. 12, experiences over everything. Choose the trip, do the dinner, do the weird adventure every single time. I think that having actual physical things is great. mean, there's certain things that I do, I'm really excited to get. Like just got myself a new couch for my birthday. It was 45 % off, I'm so excited.
So that thing's gonna make me feel really good in my home and stuff like that, but I feel like I'd rather spend my money and the things that I have on experiences because that's what actually compounds over time is the experiences that you have, not like the thing, no matter how wealthy you get. 13, when you hire by values, it changes everything. A huge piece for me this year was I actually had to go back to creating a team and I actually had a really hard time with this decision to create a team again because I didn't know if I could hold the leadership.
I didn't know if I could hold all of that because being a leader, having your own company is a lot of responsibility. And for me, I do not hold that lightly. I want to take care of every single person on that team. And a huge piece of what I found that kept us going, especially in my in-between moment, I I had amazing team members who stuck with me in the messy middle when I had no idea where the hell this business was going to go. They stuck with me the entire time. And a huge piece of that was values, right? We worked.
Like we made sure the value system was super clear, that we had integrity first, that we were living in the service of transformation of others. So really making sure that whoever comes onto your team aligns with the values that you have and that you've written out, or just in your life in general, is really important. That helps them show up better. That helps the integrity and the energy change for like they're not working for you, they're working with you, right? And I think that's really important, we're working for a common cause. 14, leadership and business aren't about you.
The huge shift here, a thing that I was building here, I again was really stressed about always trying to make money and it was definitely always about me because again, generationally, I'm like, this is survival mode. I want to survive. And I was getting really stressed about all the different pieces. And when then I realized that I have an opportunity that most people do not have. I have an amazing platform for helping women get their first pull up. I've got amazing stages that I can be on and I actually get to create the ecosystem.
of a small business where I now can support amazing people on my team get to the dreams that they want to get to. know, I now have been much more open about asking my team members, where do you want to go? Like, what is your financial goal? Where do you see yourself? And I get to create that space and I get to create a really great work environment. So when I started to shift that the business is no longer, it's not about me, it's about the people we serve. It's also about creating that ecosystem and that team who I can support and I get to do that.
I think it's really powerful and it made me look at things a lot differently and really shift how I was doing things. mean, my whole energy shifted when it went from that instead of like, ⁓ 15, don't get too high or too low, stay steady. I can't wait to make a whole podcast on this, I'm still working on this, but I think a lot of times the winds are really great, the hard days are really hard, but I think people who actually can somehow sustain this levelheadedness over a period of time are the ones who actually are successful and can stay in things longer, right?
So think sometimes in my family, in my life, everything was really high or really low. was really dramatic or really not. ⁓ And that really can mess with you emotionally in so many different ways. So how can you stay somewhere in the middle? And a great example of this is that, I'm going to say her name wrong, I think it was Alyssa Liu, who was the ice skater this year who won the Olympics. When they asked her, how do you feel winning gold? Do you must feel on top of the world? She's like, nope, I feel the same. And I think that was really, really key to allow it to just be here.
because otherwise you're going really high and then when you're not at this high, you're dropping really, really low. So figuring out how to keep things somewhere in the net steady in the middle is really important. Sending yourself, getting your back to it. That's how you actually stay in the game longer, I think with so many different things. Emotionally, business, you know, when business things go up and down, how can even when things are tough, you keep going. Leila Horozia, I saw her post this the other day, she said that a team member came up to her because like three people quit and she...
I think was expecting a huge reaction from Layla like, ⁓ and Layla was like, okay, cool, what do we do? Kept it steady. That I think is really important. 16, most of life is just ordinary and boring and nobody shows that part. The behind the scenes a lot of times that we see, that we don't see are just really tedious, repetitive, unsexy work done consistently for a long time and that's the whole thing. The higher, like it's great, it's great to see the top and the bottom.
Recently, I was looking on an Instagram real with Shelby staff who's like created like the remote sales Academy insane insanity and people are always like Kelby We want to see like the day in the life She's like girl You don't want to see the day in my life the day in my life is me on my computer working my butt off. It's boring It's not that exciting. Yes. I'm in a cool location. Yes. I have freedom to do things It's great But if you really want to do something extraordinary a lot of times it's doing in the ordinary really boring things in between and staying consistent with it because it's not gonna be exciting every single day, so
I think it's really important to kind of know that most of life is ordinary in the middle. You only get like 1 % at the top and 1 % at the bottom. And then the rest of it is the in-between, that hallway in-between is where we live. 17, travel credit cards and points are a life hack. Learn them. I did not know anything about this, but now that I'm really traveling more for speaking, I'm not in personal finance. But it's really changing the way that I travel. ⁓
If you can use them properly, you can travel so much more, get all these points, all these, like there's so many perks to doing it. So do the travel stuff. 18, be in the game. Just be in the game. Wealth, business, life, it's all about a game. But you do have to actually play the game in order to win, right? You can't win something you're not participating in. You can't win something you are not participating in. So if you're sitting on the sideline right now and you're waiting to come in,
If you feel like the game feels rigid or confusing, you're too far gone for you to catch up, that is still a choice. That is a choice. And that choice guarantees the outcome that you're afraid of, that you are gonna fail. So if you wanna win, if you wanna get in the best shape of your life, if you wanna start the business, do the podcast, you gotta be in the game. Stop stalling. People who are in the game are literally just taking action. 19, improv changed how I think. I took improv this year multiple times. I wanted to take it more.
⁓ Yes, end is a way of living and it's not just a stage technique. So I think what's really important about improv, and I honestly think everybody should take improv, is it really allows you to just be okay with failing. We had this part where if you didn't get the improv part, quote, quote, quote right, which there's no right, ⁓ everyone would scream and like, he fails, and we'd all be like, he failed, and we celebrate it, right? ⁓
It's also just a way of limbing and showing a shift that like you can continue to be additive to things in your life. So highly suggest taking improv if you're not doing, it's for keynote speaking, whatever, just for life in general. think everybody should be required to take improv. Also, you have so much fun. I literally cried, laughed so many times. 20, not everyone is for you and that's not a loss. It's okay.
Some of the best things that happened to me this year started with something or someone falling away. And at the time it felt like a problem and it felt like it sucked, but it actually, like now I'm realizing that it's a clearing. Like not everybody is meant for you. I get really invested with people and relationships. just like how I am. But noticing that like, that person doesn't need to be in my life. And actually like they maybe had a, there was a section or a reason for that relationship that we had, but it wasn't a forever thing. It was great to just kind of know that like,
Not everyone has to be for me, and that's all right. 21, store potatoes in a dark place and not in the fridge. 36 years, and I only learned this recently. I don't know what else I've been doing wrong, but ⁓ storing stuff, I think you learn it in your 30s. I have reels going super crazy viral on IG right now that are all about potatoes in your armpits for your pull-up. I took them out of the fridge and someone said like,
in the fridge and I Googled it and I was like they were definitely not supposed to be in the fridge. They're supposed to be in a dark, cold place. yeah, learning how to store my food has definitely been interesting in my 30s. 22, a travel blender is legitimately a life hack if you don't travel consistently. A huge piece this year was learning how to manage travel without getting too high, getting too low, without losing myself. It is very easy to lose yourself when you're on the road because the food's not great.
Life happens and one of things I made sure I stayed consistent with is having my shake in the morning every day But I wanted something to blend it so I got this travel blender you like press the button and it like spins it up 23 Invest in a trainer invest in your physical health and do not negotiate on this I don't care. What is in my bank account? I don't care what it looks like again. I was in a massive amount of debt until literally probably
two days ago when I finally paid everything off and I did not give a shit. I'm so happy that I invested and put money into a trainer. ⁓ Your body is a vehicle for everything. Take care of it first. If you're having trouble showing up for yourself and getting your workouts in or whatever it might be, either hire damn trainer or get on like a workout program. Again, we have got strong feels good that you can use. This is not a marketing technique. This is literally just me telling you that even as a trainer, I hire a trainer and when you feel good in your body, when you show up and you're getting those workouts in, okay?
you feel different. You feel so much more powerful, you're able to make better decisions, so just invest in it. And it's not as much as you think, right? It's not as much as you think. Recently I talked to, or someone was talking about how someone had redone their entire bathroom and then spent all this money on it but then wouldn't hire a trainer and their health is going to shit. It's just like, why not just use the money and hire the trainer? So this way you can enjoy the bathroom and then you'll actually make more money. So even when you don't think you can afford it,
I think it's the hack. Especially if you're not, if you're able to afford a one-on-one, one-on-one is freaking awesome. If not, do a group coaching thing, whatever it might be, but put your money into it. Stop saying you can't afford it. If you're not showing up and doing it, get someone to help you get in the movement of doing it. You need to invest in yourself and your health, okay? That's the only thing we have. 24, hire A players even when it stretches you. Same thing goes with the financial stuff, right? I was in so much debt and...
I'm so happy that I took a chance and I hired A players because I was thinking for the long term, okay? Because when you try and do everything yourself, it doesn't work, right? And you can hire people and build them up and build them up into A players, which is great. But if you can try and hire key players, A players that are gonna move you forward and accelerate everything, that this is like what they do because you just cannot be good at everything, right? You gotta do it before you're ready. It's gonna feel uncomfy, but it's worth it. 25.
Set clear expectations and standards with people you work with. ⁓ This is not to be difficult. is, you know, if you don't set clear standards, you can start to get really resentful of people, because you're like, why are they not doing nothing? And it's like, because they probably didn't know. Like they probably didn't know. So set expectations and expectations from the beginning with people who you work with. ⁓ For example, when I finally ⁓ hired my, not went hired, like joined in to get a speaker manager, before I did it, I was like, I have expectations of you. Here's what I want it to be like.
I want you to do X, Y, and Z. Then I was like, here's what you're going to expect of me. I'm going to do X, Cool. And we're also going to meet every other week, and we're going to set our standards for each other. When we started off that relationship like that, game changer. We both had trust in each other. We were both showing up and doing the thing. ⁓ Setting the clear expectation for the beginning, so you can also go back and be like, wait, we had these expectations. What is going wrong? How can we fix it? And being more solution oriented is going to be key. 26.
Life is better off Zoom as much as possible. Man, I'm just so Zoomed out. I'm just so over it. I just want to be with people, and that's why I'm loving speaking at events right now. I just love being with people in person. If I can just get a second and have their energy, and it's actually shown that the Zooms are, you're just not getting the person's energy, so it feels like a lot more draining. So get off Zoom as you can. 27, everything takes way longer than you want it to, and then it's worth it. Yeah. I've been building this business for 10 plus years.
Instead of happening right now, people are like, my goodness, it's amazing, you're crushing it. And I was like, this is a 10 years, 10 years of time, right? For speaking, three years ago, someone had told me, my goodness, remember Angela, when you were on the stage and you said you were gonna go into the speaking thing? ⁓ Three years ago, right? So we want things tomorrow, but a lot of the really good things take time. It's gonna take time. And I think when we take a breath and realize that, it actually makes it a lot easier. Just stay in it, stay in it.
Okay, my speaking business was slow, so slow, then boom, was trajectory, but that was all because of this time, and it also allowed me the time that I needed in the in-between to get better at the craft, right, to hire the speaking coach, to go on these stages that were like in a bar or something, right, and like get all my speaking out, right? It's gonna take longer than you want. 28, start messy, right? So many people are just waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting.
for things to be perfect or whatever. mean, just start freaking messy. That's how you get your hands dirty, get in there. The best version of yourself is like, it's gonna come from some proud embarrassing moments. So just start messy, go for it, even if it sucks. You know, the people who tell me, I wanna start the podcast but haven't started it yet, because they're waiting for the right equipment or the whatever. I'm like, just start freaking talking. Start messing and get into it. 29, have a weekly delulu day. I'm gonna do an episode on this as well.
One day a week where you let yourself believe, be completely unreasonable, slightly unhinged version, ⁓ send the email, make the ask, pitch the thing. I know people who have told me that they've actually done this and it's worked for them. ⁓ So, Delulu Day for me is a day where I just do things unhinged. The Delulu Day led me to getting a book deal. Like, a five figure massive book deal from an amazing publisher. Because on day I decided to just send the freaking email.
when I had no idea what I was doing. And I also think what's really important about a Delulu day is remaining completely detached to it. So detached to the outcome, like being so crazy and unhinged about it that it doesn't matter if it happens or not. ⁓ That relaxation of it, I think really sent it over the edge for me this year and I got that book deal and I I've been wanting this book deal forever, but I feel so ready to write this book ⁓ and add that. 30, flirt with life, man. Joy is something that...
A lot of times is the actual answer. When I go back to the depression and the thing that I was feeling, when he said to go just do things that you love again, and I forgot what they were, I started to go out and surf again. I started to go dance again. And he said, even if you don't feel the joy right away, just start to just be in the motion of doing it. And a lot of times, if you're just so serious all the time, at some point, you realize you're not having any fun. And play is where the best ideas come from, right? Some of your best ideas and the best things in life aren't happening when you're sitting here thinking about
We're trying to do it, right? It's going to laugh. It's going to live a little. It's going for a walk. It's enjoying somebody that you're around, right? So I'm so happy that I never wind up taking any the antidepressants and instead I just went all in and enjoy. And I make it intentionally every single week. What is some cool, crazy fun thing that I can do every single week so I'll flirt with life each week and a little delulu each week and boom, boom. It's like a perfect recipe for enjoying life while also working hard and getting towards your goals.
I think that's important. 31, not all bet bad debt is bad debt. I'm gonna say it again, not all bad debt is bad debt. Some of the best investments that I made came from betting on myself. Like I said, I just literally paid off my last, I was in 60K credit card debt again for like the second time, which is so frustrating. But when I reflect back on it now and that ease I feel from it, I was in that 60K of debt because I took a lot of chances on myself.
And I was thinking again more long-term. Yes, it sucks to have them on credit card and have interest and maybe it's like the smartest thing to do, but it stopped me from pausing and being like, I'm gonna wait until I have the money. I'm gonna wait till this and just allowed me to go all in. So as long as you have intentionality with it, right? Even if it doesn't work out, fear based financial decision will keep you small. ⁓ So will so many fair things, but the difference between the bad debt.
Bad debt I think is like buying stuff that is actually not gonna move you forward. I think that good debt, matter what, if it's not a credit card or not, if it's gonna move you forward and make you better, like it's worth it, honestly. Like it just is. I'm happy that I took the chances that I did. If you talk to most entrepreneurs, they might be on the same amount of debt too. 32, when you start making more money, a lot of people will want more.
⁓ As my business has become more successful, which is really, really exciting, what no one prepared me for is that now people are trying to ask me for money. And now they have this whole weird sense of where the money's going and what you do with it. I'm like, bro, just because we are making more money does not mean that's going directly into my pocket. I'm being financially responsible with it. It's going back into the business. People don't realize sometimes where money actually goes.
They don't see the strike fees and all the other stuff for the business. There's a lot that goes into it, but it's funny how people just will all of a sudden just show up and start asking for money or trying to take advantage of you. 33, so much can change in one year if you let it. Like I said, this is the one I'm really feeling right now, especially because my birthday is June 1st, exactly where I am today. ⁓ Not exactly where I was last year. mean, last year, 60K plus in debt, depressed. ⁓
Not a good place at all at one point hyperventilating on the bathroom floor. ⁓ But we're here now. We made it through. We just had to get through some of that emotion stuff, I think is really important. ⁓ Yeah. And I think that it's really important to know that you can change the entire trajectory of your life in one year if you allow it. If you allow it. 34. What if it all goes right? Is the question that actually changes how your brain works.
things just work out for me is a decision, not a personality trait. So I wanna be really clear, what if it all goes right, this whole journey of this, it started when I was trying to shift my mind from negative to positive thinking. This year, when I decided that I was gonna get up and get out of my depression, I stood up and I was like, things just work out for me. And it created this decision that things were just gonna happen. The what if it all goes right, ask the question, allows you to ponder on it, but.
things just work out for me, that is a decision. And that is on my vision board right now. It says things just work out for me. When I wake up, and especially when I've had a day where I'm a little stressed out, I'm like, you know what, things just work out for me. Okay? And I think that's really powerful. I just did a whole episode on the particular activating system and comparison and stuff like that. And you can start to find evidence of good things when you start to kind of change your mindset to what if it all goes right and things just work out for me. You get to choose instead of thinking negatively.
You just have to decide. 35, everyone has different timeline including you. I've caught myself feeling really behind right now, especially on like marriage, money, friendships, milestones that I thought I was supposed to have by now. And I keep having to come back to the fact that I'm just not on anyone else's schedule. Like this path looks way different for me than it is for you. ⁓ And I just think it's really important to kind of understand that ⁓ everyone's path is gonna be a little bit different.
It's okay, there's no rush, what's the rush? But I do really want to, ⁓ shameless plug, I do really want to find an amazing partner this year. I'm really ready for that, I'm really ready for love, I'm really ready to have a companion to come do these awesome things with. 36, you attract who you are and energy is currency. People really do feel energy. What I'm noticing so much from being on stages, from speaking on stages so much lately,
is the one thing they always say to me is your energy is just amazing. Even with my workshops, Angela, your energy is just amazing. They hear what you say for sure and they take the nuggets, but they also, more importantly, the currency is how you made them feel. How you made them feel, right? And I think it's really, really important to know that with your energy, like how you show up and you're gonna attract who you are, right? Some of the relationships, the things that I was in, I was wondering, like, why did I attract that, right? And instead of blaming the person and being like, why is this person
suck or not what I expected is because I was attracting who I was, which was maybe anxious, right? Which was maybe somebody like attracting somebody who didn't see their worth as much, right? So I just think it's really important to realize that your energy is your currency. That's really what's gonna take you to the next level. So anyways, that was a lot. 36 things that I've learned in 36 years. Some of them practical, some of them messy, some of them funny, some of them I'm still working on, right?
If you take one thing from this today, just one, then you, just take one thing. You don't need a whole action plan from this or whatever it might be. And I just really hope that there's some of these pieces that landed for you and that the vulnerability really can help you excel and move forward in your life. And I'm excited to do 37 things I've learned in 37 years and hopefully by then I have a man.
If this episode landed for you though, share it, send it to a friend who's in a hard season right now. If you wanna get one of my birthday sales, remember angela-gargantt.com slash birthday, 36 % off our programs. We'd love to support you and help you on your journey. ⁓ And we'd love to see you there. And reminder throughout the rest of this year, what if it all goes right? What if it all goes right? Everything is working out for you. It just is. What if it all goes right?
Everything is working out for you. just is. Anyways, I'll see you in the next episode. It was actually episode 100, so I've got something special on that one too.
