Confidence Isn't Born, It's Built: Taking Action When You Don't Feel Ready

I used to believe confidence was something you either had or you didn't. I thought some people were just born with it—that magical ability to walk into any room and own it. But here's what I've learned through years of being called names, failing on national television, and slowly building myself back up: confidence isn't given to you. It's something you create, action by action.

Growing up, I was constantly teased for my muscular arms. Kids called me "Mangela" and made me feel like I wasn't feminine enough or good enough. I remember one particularly brutal day in social studies class when we were watching Gladiator, and a guy shouted about one of the ripped characters, "Just like Angela!" I melted. I literally stormed out, called my mom from the nurse's office, and sat crying on the curb waiting to go home.

But you know what changed everything for me? Understanding that confidence doesn't come before action—it comes after.

Think about something you're confident in right now. Maybe it's driving, cooking, or leading meetings. Were you confident the first time you tried? Probably not. But through repetition, through showing up even when it felt uncomfortable, you built that confidence step by step.

That's exactly what happened when I started doing fitness competitions. Walking in clear stripper heels and strutting in a bikini while being judged? Terrifying at first. But every time I took that stage, I built a little more confidence. Even when I tore my ACL on American Ninja Warrior in front of millions of people, that setback taught me that confidence isn't about never failing—it's about getting back up and trying again.

Here's what I want you to remember: You don't need to feel confident to take action. You need to take action to feel confident.

If you're waiting for confidence to show up before you try something new, you'll be waiting forever. Start small. Take one manageable step. Celebrate your wins, no matter how tiny they seem. Reframe your failures as learning experiences. Be kind to yourself in the process.

The negative thoughts? They don't go away. But you can learn to respond to them differently. You can get curious about them instead of letting them spiral you into inaction.

Whatever you've been putting off because you don't feel confident enough—that presentation, that workout routine, that business idea—stop waiting. Confidence is built through trying, not through thinking about trying.

So what's one small step you can take today? Because trust me, confidence comes from trying. And you? You've got this.