I used to believe confidence was something you either had or you didn't. I thought some people were just born with it—that magical ability to walk into any room and own it. But here's what I've learned through years of being called names, failing on national television, and slowly building myself back up: confidence isn't given to you. It's something you create, action by action.

Growing up, I was constantly teased for my muscular arms. Kids called me "Mangela" and made me feel like I wasn't feminine enough or good enough. I remember one particularly brutal day in social studies class when we were watching Gladiator, and a guy shouted about one of the ripped characters, "Just like Angela!" I melted. I literally stormed out, called my mom from the nurse's office, and sat crying on the curb waiting to go home.

But you know what changed everything for me? Understanding that confidence doesn't come before action—it comes after.

Think about something you're confident in right now. May...

I recently had one of those moments—you know, the kind where you're sitting there feeling frustrated about certain outcomes in your life, wondering why things aren't happening the way you want them to. But then it hit me like a ton of bricks: I didn't even have a plan for them.

The Uncomfortable Truth I Had to Face

Here's the thing that got me thinking: I've achieved some pretty incredible things in my life. I won Miss Fitness America, made it on American Ninja Warrior multiple times, came back after an ACL tear, and made it to finals. But here's what's important—none of those moments happened by accident. They weren't random. They were the result of daily, intentional actions that moved me closer to my goal.

So why was I getting frustrated about other areas of my life where things weren't happening when I wasn't following the same process? It literally is the same process, and it's a hard truth to face.

The Problem with Randomness

Whether it's fitness, career, relationships, o...

Life has a way of testing us, doesn't it? Whether you're facing a sudden crisis at work, juggling the endless demands of motherhood, or simply navigating a particularly heavy season, pressure is inevitable. But here's what I've learned: it's not about avoiding the pressure—it's about how you respond to it.

You Don't Have to Be Unbreakable

Someone once told me I was "anti-fragile"—like that vase you could throw off a counter and it somehow wouldn't break. While I appreciate the sentiment, the truth is, I fail a lot. I take messy action. There are days when I'm messaging my team asking, "How are we going to do this?"

But here's the thing: I keep going. I haven't allowed the pressure to break me. And that's exactly what you need too—the ability to bend instead of break.

Feel the Feelings (But Don't Get Stuck There)

The first step to handling pressure isn't to power through or ignore your emotions. It's giving yourself permission to feel. Acknowledge the fear, sadness, or frustrati...

Last Thursday, I hit a wall—hard.

I was in the middle of launching my pull-up program, riding high on motivation and productivity for over a week. Then suddenly, I found myself staring at my computer screen, completely paralyzed. I wasn't physically tired, but my brain felt like it had simply stopped working.

Sound familiar?

I was so frustrated with myself. Why couldn't I focus? Why did everything feel so overwhelming? That's when I realized I was experiencing something we don't talk about enough: mental fatigue.

What Mental Fatigue Really Looks Like

Mental fatigue isn't just being tired—it's that feeling when your brain has hit its absolute limit and cannot process one more thing. You might feel foggy, irritable, or even physically exhausted despite not doing anything physically demanding.

For me, it felt like having every single browser tab open at once. My mind was juggling the launch, content creation, my team's questions, and a million other tasks simultaneously. No wonde...

I used to hear people say "just show up as the highest version of yourself" all the time, and honestly? I had no idea what that actually meant. How do you embody a version of yourself you've never been before? Especially when you're feeling stuck or disempowered?

I've been wrestling with this question personally as I transition from being a fitness instructor to stepping into my role as a keynote speaker and leader. Sometimes I don't feel like my highest self at all. But here's what I've discovered: you can't step into that powerful version of yourself from a place of feeling powerless.

It Starts with Visualization

The breakthrough came when I realized I needed to feel this future version of myself first. I started doing daily visualizations – imagining myself six months from now, a year from now, three years from now. I picture myself walking into rooms with confidence, making decisions without hesitation, inspiring others simply through the energy I carry.

I even created a rec...

Leadership is one of life's greatest privileges. Whether you're guiding a team, managing a household, or mentoring others, it's an honor to have people look to you for direction. But I've learned through experience that leadership can also be incredibly lonely—carrying the weight of responsibility while trying to stay grounded isn't easy.

You Can't Pour From an Empty Cup

Here's the truth I've had to learn the hard way: you literally cannot pour from an empty cup. When I focused entirely on my work, my team, and my goals while neglecting myself, the result was predictable—burnout, loss of clarity, and the feeling that I was running on fumes.

For years, I didn't even recognize myself as a leader. I owned a gym and thought I was just training people, not realizing I was leading a community and guiding my team to become better trainers. Once I understood the leadership role I had stepped into, I saw how critical self-care was to doing it well.

My Five Leadership Self-Care Strategies...

The conversation happened in a small yoga studio in New Jersey. I was home for the holidays, taking a class with my recently retired mom who's in her 60s. After class, the instructor shared something that broke my heart: "After I turned 40, my body felt like it started falling apart. I gained weight. I felt too tired to move. My body just didn't behave the way it used to."

Her words struck a chord because I hear this same story from women I work with every day. The metabolism changes, hormones shift, and suddenly the strategies that worked in your 20s not only stop working—they can actually work against you.

But here's what I need you to know: your changing body isn't a sign of failure. It's an invitation to show up differently.

The Mistake Most Women Make

When women notice these changes, their first instinct is often to double down on what used to work. They cut more calories. They add more cardio. They buy expensive supplements promising quick fixes.

Then they feel frustrated...

We've all had those moments where everything seems to fall apart at the worst possible time. Mine happened at 3 AM in a car with my stepdad, 10 minutes from the airport, when my stomach decided to stage a full-scale rebellion.

There I was, sweating, panicking, and praying for a miracle as I clenched every muscle in my body. When we finally reached the airport and faced a massive line to enter the terminal, I spotted salvation through a window—a bathroom in another terminal. Without thinking twice, I jumped out of the car, leaped over a barrier, and sprinted toward relief, leaving all my luggage behind.

Was it embarrassing? Absolutely. But this chaotic moment reminded me of something I learned after tearing my ACL on American Ninja Warrior: life's "shit moments" (sometimes literally) are inevitable, but they're also where we grow the most.

That's why I created the R.I.G.H.T framework:

R - Recognize and Feel: Give yourself permission to feel whatever emotions arise without judgmen...

I had to have a serious conversation with myself the other day. You know the kind—just you, your thoughts, and that uncomfortable question you've been avoiding: "Why haven't I been showing up for myself?"

It hit me while driving alone, reflecting on patterns I've noticed year after year. When life gets busy or chaotic, I'm the first thing I drop from my priority list. Maybe you can relate?

The Breaking Point

This year was particularly eye-opening. I kept scheduling workouts, setting goals, blocking time for myself in my calendar...and then bailing at the last minute. Once you break a promise to yourself once, the second time gets easier. Then it becomes a pattern.

I asked myself the hard question: What's really holding me back?

It wasn't fear of failure. For me, it was feeling overwhelmed by new challenges and making excuses about not having enough time—even though deep down I knew that wasn't true.

The Mindset Shift

After retiring from American Ninja Warrior, I found myself ...

Have you ever felt like you're constantly playing catch-up in life? That's exactly where I found myself recently—in that uncomfortable space between retiring from American Ninja Warrior and trying to figure out my next chapter.

For years, I've struggled with a deep-seated belief that I wasn't enough. Despite my achievements—six-time American Ninja Warrior, three-time cover girl, Miss Fitness America—internally, I constantly felt behind. Whether I was running with friends and couldn't keep up, or sitting on a boat looking at my friends with their marriages and businesses, the same thought persisted: "I'm not there yet. I'm not enough."

This scarcity mindset wasn't just affecting my personal life; it was blocking my business growth and speaking career too. I knew something had to change.

The Turning Point

Last week, I decided to stop fighting these thoughts and instead lean into them. I wanted to examine why I kept returning to this comfort zone of scarcity and self-doubt, then ch...