What You Aren't Changing, You're Choosing

Have you ever caught yourself complaining about the same things over and over again? Your job, your fitness routine, your relationships, your overall happiness? I've been there too, and recently I had a friend call me out in the most loving way possible.

We were at a business workshop, and I was describing my dream life when she stopped me and said, "Angela, you're not doing anything that actually reflects that happening." Ouch. But she was absolutely right.

The Hard Truth About Staying Stuck

Here's what I've realized: what you aren't changing, you are choosing.

I know that might sting a little, but hear me out. Our brains and bodies love comfort. Even when something isn't working for us, we stay there because it's familiar. That toxic relationship? Familiar. That job you hate? Familiar. Your brain isn't working against you – it's trying to keep you safe, and change feels scary because it's unknown.

But here's the thing: just because something is comfortable doesn't mean it's actually right for you.

My Wake-Up Call

I had this realization recently in my business. I was feeling stuck and frustrated, no longer loving what I was doing. Instead of pushing through or ignoring it, I sat down and wrote out everything that wasn't working for me. Then I asked myself the hard question: "Why am I choosing to keep things this way?"

That's when it hit me – I had the power to change it. I had control over my schedule, my offers, my approach, my energy. But until I acknowledged that, I was choosing to stay stuck.

For example, everyone in my industry was doing tons of sales calls – five or six a day. I dreaded them. But I realized I don't have to do business that way just because everyone else does. I thrive on keynote speaking and workshops where I can inspire and build community. So I chose to do it my way.

Your Roadmap Out of Stuck

If you're feeling stuck, here's what's helping me shift:

1. Acknowledge that you have a choice. Stop saying "I have to" and start saying "I'm choosing to." This simple shift puts you back in control.

2. Get real about what's not working. Write it down. What in your life, work, or health is draining you? Don't judge it – just be honest.

3. Identify the fear holding you back. Are you afraid of failing? Success? Being overwhelmed? Once you know what's stopping you, you can address it head-on.

4. Make one small change. You don't need to overhaul your entire life tomorrow. Start with one thing – how you schedule your time, approach your workouts, or speak to yourself.

5. Repeat until it becomes your new normal. Every change feels uncomfortable at first, but the more you choose to step into something different, the more natural it becomes.

Your Challenge

Here's what I want you to do today: grab a piece of paper and write down one thing you've been complaining about or feeling stuck in. Ask yourself: "Am I willing to keep choosing this, or am I ready to make a change?"

If you're ready (and I know you are), write down one small action step you can take today. Not tomorrow, not next week – today.

Remember, what you aren't changing, you are choosing. And you deserve better than staying stuck in something that no longer serves you.

You've got this. Now go choose the life you actually want.