Getting Unstuck Part 10: Embodying Your Future Self

For years, I chased goals thinking that once I achieved them, I'd finally feel successful. I thought once I had the money, the accolades, and the opportunities, then I'd be confident. I believed once I got the validation, then I'd be happy.

But that mindset kept me stuck in an infinite waiting room.

Let me take you back a few years. I had this big audacious goal of being featured on the cover of Oxygen Magazine. I was obsessed with it. I photoshopped myself on the cover, sent hundreds of emails to every contact I could find, and checked my inbox obsessively hoping someone would say yes.

After months of silence, I finally got a response—not for a cover, not even for a feature, but for a tiny photo shoot in a church basement for wrist exercises. Yes, a church basement.

You know what? I said yes.

Because at that moment, I realized it wasn't about where I was, but about the person I was becoming. I built relationships with the editors. I kept showing up. I started helping with makeup artists and other models. I put the cover dream on the back burner and focused on creating value.

Then one day I realized something profound: I was already living the life that the cover would give me. I was already making an impact. I was already inspiring people. I was already the person I wanted to be.

If I had gotten that cover when I first asked for it in 2016, it would have been for the wrong reasons—just to be another fitness model with abs. But through the process—including tearing my ACL and making an epic comeback—I became someone with a story worth featuring.

Finally, in 2021, I got the call about a cover opportunity. But the reason I finally got it was because I had already become the person worthy of being on that cover. I was embodying it long before the world saw it.

Here's the truth: You don't get the thing first and then become the person. You become the person first, and then the thing comes to you.

We've been conditioned to believe that success, confidence, and happiness come after achievement, but it's actually the other way around:

• You become wealthy before you have money
• You become a leader before you get the title
• You become an athlete before you win the race

It's not about faking it until you make it—it's about being it until you see it.

So my challenge to you: Write down one identity statement today. "I am a successful entrepreneur." "I am financially free." "I am a confident public speaker." Then take one action that aligns with that identity.

Don't wait for permission or validation. Start being that person today.

Because after all... what if it's already going right?