What is Resilience, Really?

I used to think resilience was some kind of superhero quality—something you either had or you didn't. But here's what I've learned after falling forward more times than I can count: resilience isn't magic, and it's definitely not glamorous.

It's a skill. A practice. And it's built on what I call radical adaptability—the ability to bend without breaking, to adapt when life throws you curveballs, and to keep moving forward even when everything feels stuck.

The Unglamorous Truth About Resilience

Let me be real with you for a moment. I'm recording this while feeling incredibly stuck myself. I'm in the middle of a major transition, moving from fitness-focused work to something bigger, and honestly? It's uncomfortable as hell.

But here's the thing about resilience that no one talks about: it's not about rising from the ashes in some dramatic movie moment. Most of the time, it's quiet, messy, and small. It's choosing to take one step forward when you feel paralyzed. It's washing your face before bed when everything else feels chaotic. It's asking "what if this is actually working out for me?" when your brain wants to spiral into worst-case scenarios.

What Makes Someone Truly Resilient?

After years of helping everyone from top photographers to everyday people reach their peak performance, I've identified five key factors that build real resilience:

1. Radical Adaptability This is the foundation. When something doesn't go as planned, you ask: "What can I actually control right now? How can I adjust my approach?" When you know you can adapt to anything, you stop fearing the worst-case scenario because you know you can handle it.

2. Clear-Headed Mindset Resilient people don't dwell on worst-case scenarios. They focus on possibilities and solutions. But let me be clear—this doesn't mean you don't feel your feelings. Have your pity party, cry it out, phone a friend. Feel all the things. Just don't get stuck there.

3. Self-Awareness You need to understand your patterns. For me, when things go wrong, I completely freeze—I get paralyzed and stuck in my head. Knowing this about myself means I have tools ready: I get up, do something creative, step outside the problem so I can come back clear-headed.

4. Embracing Discomfort Growth hurts. There's no way around it. But resilience means leaning into that discomfort instead of falling backward. It's scary, but it's how you evolve.

5. Knowing Your Why When you're clear on your purpose, it's easier to stay grounded during tough times. Sometimes we lose sight of our why—that's when everything gets ten times harder. Take time to reconnect with what matters to you.

Your Action Steps (Let's Do This Together)

I don't want this to be something you just read and forget. Here's what we're going to do:

1. Feel Your Feelings - Write down what you're experiencing without judgment. Give yourself permission to be human.
2. Reframe the Challenge - Ask yourself: "What is this situation teaching me? How can I grow from this?"
3. Practice 'What If It All Goes Right?' - Seriously, sit down and write out what going right would look like. Your brain will thank you.
4. Take One Small Step - When you're overwhelmed, focus on one thing you can do today. Just one.
5. Build Your Support System - Resilience isn't a solo journey. Reach out to someone you trust.
6. Celebrate Your Wins - Every step forward counts, even washing your face before bed.

The Truth About Being Stuck

Right now, I'm transitioning from fitness coaching to creating a bigger impact through keynotes and helping people develop radical adaptability. I have no money after closing my gym, I'm living in my dad's basement (again), and some days I feel like I'm rearranging furniture instead of making progress.

But you know what? Every uncomfortable moment—tearing my ACL, quitting my stable biochemistry job, opening and closing my gym—has prepared me for something incredible. This stuckness? It's not a dead end. It's preparation.

If you're feeling stuck too, you're not alone. This moment might be exactly what you need to get to your next level. Trust that you're built to handle whatever comes your way.

Because here's the thing: everything, even the messy and uncomfortable parts, is actually working out for you.

So take a deep breath, focus on what you can control, and take one small step forward.

What if it all goes right? What if it's already going right?