Why We Break Promises to Ourselves (And How to Finally Show Up)

I had to have a serious conversation with myself the other day. You know the kind—just you, your thoughts, and that uncomfortable question you've been avoiding: "Why haven't I been showing up for myself?"

It hit me while driving alone, reflecting on patterns I've noticed year after year. When life gets busy or chaotic, I'm the first thing I drop from my priority list. Maybe you can relate?

The Breaking Point

This year was particularly eye-opening. I kept scheduling workouts, setting goals, blocking time for myself in my calendar...and then bailing at the last minute. Once you break a promise to yourself once, the second time gets easier. Then it becomes a pattern.

I asked myself the hard question: What's really holding me back?

It wasn't fear of failure. For me, it was feeling overwhelmed by new challenges and making excuses about not having enough time—even though deep down I knew that wasn't true.

The Mindset Shift

After retiring from American Ninja Warrior, I found myself questioning why I should keep pushing myself physically. "Why am I going to work out really hard if I'm not even training for something?"

But the truth hit me: We're training for life. I want a high-quality life. I want to feel good, look good, and be part of something bigger than myself. Movement isn't just about competition—it's about showing up for the life I want.

The Growth Year (That Didn't Look Like Success)

When I look back at 2024, it wasn't the year I expected. I didn't hit those flashy goals on my vision board. I'm 34, still single, don't have kids, and I'm not a millionaire yet.

At first glance, it might look like I fell short. But what I realized is that this year wasn't about external achievements—it was about internal growth:

• I healed from heartbreak and learned to truly love myself again
• I became the best dog mom ever (and my pup is now the love of my life!)
• I built an incredible team and stepped into real leadership
• I doubled our business revenue (though I didn't even realize it until year-end)
• I helped hundreds of women conquer their first pull-up
• I reconnected with my love for speaking on stages
• I strengthened incredible friendships that mean the world to me
• I tried new things in business—some worked, some didn't, but I learned from all of them

Some years aren't about big wins. They're about laying a foundation. They're about learning who you are, what you truly want, and what you need to let go of.

The Self-Pep Talk That Changed Everything

Instead of calling a friend for advice like I usually do, I decided to give myself a pep talk. I pretended I was advising my best friend in my situation.

Think about it: we give great advice to others, but rarely take it ourselves. Yet the answers are already inside us—we just need to access them.

So I asked myself those hard questions:

• Why haven't I been doing the things I say I'm going to do?
• What am I afraid of?
• What excuses am I making?
• If I were giving advice to a friend in my situation, what would I say?

My Breakthrough Plan for 2025

I realized I needed to get organized and clear about what I actually wanted. So I created a system:

1. I wrote down my big vision: "I'm a leader, visionary, confident leader, I'm a master problem solver."
2. I set specific Q1 goals for both business and personal life
3. I broke those goals into daily, weekly, and monthly actions
4. I put everything into a task manager with recurring reminders

This isn't about perfection—it's about progress. It's about making one small promise to yourself and keeping it. Then making another one.

The Honest Truth

If we can't commit to ourselves, how can we expect to commit fully to anything or anyone else? That includes our families, our loved ones, our work.

Some years are about growth, not goals. Some years help us find clarity on what we truly want. And if you're in a winter season right now where things feel cold, stagnant, or uncertain, remember: after every winter, there's a spring.

Growth is happening, even if you can't see it yet.

So I invite you to give yourself that pep talk when you need it. Ask yourself those hard questions. Celebrate your progress, not your perfection. It's not about doing it all—it's about doing something. Every step forward is progress.

Here's to showing up for ourselves in 2025. What's one promise you can make to yourself this week?