Why You're Not Achieving Your Goals: The Honest Truth

podcast Jun 08, 2025

I recently had one of those moments—you know, the kind where you're sitting there feeling frustrated about certain outcomes in your life, wondering why things aren't happening the way you want them to. But then it hit me like a ton of bricks: I didn't even have a plan for them.

The Uncomfortable Truth I Had to Face

Here's the thing that got me thinking: I've achieved some pretty incredible things in my life. I won Miss Fitness America, made it on American Ninja Warrior multiple times, came back after an ACL tear, and made it to finals. But here's what's important—none of those moments happened by accident. They weren't random. They were the result of daily, intentional actions that moved me closer to my goal.

So why was I getting frustrated about other areas of my life where things weren't happening when I wasn't following the same process? It literally is the same process, and it's a hard truth to face.

The Problem with Randomness

Whether it's fitness, career, relationships, or personal growth, random efforts really do lead to random results. And I keep seeing this show up everywhere in my life.

Think about it:

If you're doing random workouts, you might see some progress, but it won't be sustainable
If you're approaching your career without a clear plan, you might move forward, but you won't feel truly aligned
If you're trying to improve your relationships without intention, you might have moments of connection, but you won't build the deep, lasting bond you're looking for

The frustration comes when we expect results that only intentional effort can actually deliver. Let me say that again: The frustration comes when we expect results that only intentional effort can actually deliver.

What Success Actually Looks Like

As an athlete, this was clearer to me. In gymnastics, we always had our meets on the calendar—we knew exactly what we were working towards. When I trained for Miss Fitness America, I had my Google spreadsheet. I had to write down exactly when my workouts were going to be, exactly what I was going to do for my food, and I scheduled particular times to practice my routine.

I broke that routine into four different sections. I'd practice just the first half until I nailed it, then the second half, then the next part, and so on. I didn't just perform the full routine every single day—I worked on the different pieces and brought them together strategically.

Same thing with American Ninja Warrior. After winging it the first time (and not being prepared), I got intentional. I went to the ninja gym on Mondays and Fridays at 9 PM—literally the only time I could go since I owned my own gym. On the in-between days, I strategically planned out what body parts I needed to keep strong, worked on my grip, did agility training, and even prepared myself for doing the show overnight.

Why Planning Actually Matters

A plan gives you:

Direction - You know where you're going
Focus - Your energy goes toward what matters
Purpose - Every action has meaning
Alignment - Your effort matches your goals
Progress tracking - You can see how far you've come
Momentum - You keep going because you see results

There's nothing more frustrating than having a goal without a plan and not seeing progress. That's when you fall off, right? When you have nothing trackable that you can see, it's really hard to show up.

How to Move From Random to Intentional

Here are the action steps I want you to take (because I'm all about action, not just listening):

1. Start with ONE Goal

Define one goal you're struggling with right now. You can't create a plan if you don't know where you want to go. Be specific—instead of "I want to get fit," say "I want to do my first pull-up in 12 weeks."

2. Break It Down

Big goals feel overwhelming. Break them into smaller, actionable steps. If your goal is to improve fitness:

Week 1: Start training twice this week
Week 2: Add 10 minutes of walking daily
Week 3: Start tracking protein intake

Don't try to overhaul your entire life in one week.

3. Create Daily Micro-Steps

What can you do today to move closer to your goal? It doesn't have to be huge. Small, consistent actions are literally the key. I had to sit down and break down my speaking goals into daily actions I could take.

4. Track Your Progress

Random efforts lead to frustration because you don't see how far you've come. Keep a journal, use an app, track progress in whatever way works for you. Celebrate the milestones along the way—it keeps you motivated.

5. Stay Flexible (But Intentional)

Plans need tweaking and adapting—that's totally okay. Regular check-ins: Is this plan working? What needs to change? Did I throw too many goals at once? Flexibility doesn't mean randomness; it means you're adapting intentionally.

6. Focus on Your Why

When motivation fades, your why will keep you going. Why do you want this goal? How will it impact your life? Write it down and remind yourself. More importantly, focus on the feeling this goal will bring you and the people around you.

The Bottom Line

Success doesn't happen by accident. Frustration comes when we expect results without effort or intention. Shifting from random to intentional isn't about perfection—it's about consistency.

Whether it's fitness, work, or life, creating a plan and sticking to it is what leads to meaningful, lasting results.

Your Challenge

Take a moment to reflect on one area of your life where you're feeling frustrated or stuck. Ask yourself: Do I have a plan?

If not, take literally one step today to define your goal, break it down, and create a daily action step.

Random effort equals random results, but intentional effort? That's where the magic happens.

Keep asking yourself: What if it all goes right? What if it's already going right?

Until next time, keep showing up, keep creating a plan, and keep moving with intention. You've got this.